My Emotions

What makes me emotional:

1. Dealing with Telstra. Today, I decided to try and ascertain exactly what was overdue and payable now, an amount I'm certain is not excessive, but one I want to attend to for the sake of prudence. The 'owner' of the account is my husband, but I am listed as an authorised person, and until today, had never really had much trouble - believe it or not.  My first attempt resulted in the call being disconnected. I cursed, and rang again.  I explained in plain terms what I wanted to achieve today, that is, find out how much is still outstanding on my phone bill. At the clerk's request, I spelled out my first, middle, and surnames. I am a well-spoken person, but knowing bilabial consonants can be misheard or misinterpreted, I spelled my name out using the methodology of the NATO phonetic alphabet, and enunciated like a spinsterish old schoolmarm: 'No, my middle name is not Clarrie. I'll do it again for you: C for Charlie, L for Lima, A for Alpha, R for Romeo, E for Echo. Oh, you want my surname again? It's B for Bravo...', and well, I'm sure you get the picture. The clerk said he wanted to clarify the spelling again, and decided to make up his own references as he went along, and I kept grinding my teeth as he floundered like a freshly caught fish. When he finally - FINALLY! - said, '..E for England, and Y for, for...Yellow!', I replied irritably that he should learn the NATO alphabet.

I had to give my date of birth about three times. Without saying too much, I am an Aquarian in my fifties, not a Gemini in my thirties, which the misapprehension under which the clerk was labouring.

After much fiddle-farting, he said, 'Now, how can I help you, Simone?'

For about the sixth time, I said I wanted to know the outstanding balance due on my account. He explained they had to be sure I was who I said I was, and would send an SMS to my mobile. I scowled that it was very unlikely a strange person would ring with a view to getting my bill paid. So, I retrieved the message on my mobile, and read back the code.

In the course of the call, I lost about twenty minutes of my life, and did NOT gain the knowledge I sought, because I became so frustrated that I just sighed I would attend to paying the remainder of the bill very shortly.

I want wine.

2. Seeing my oldest in a suit. It seems only yesterday I piddled on a stick, and held my breath as I waited for a pink line to appear. The sprog whose pending appearance was heralded by that pink line is finishing school in a few weeks. Yesterday, he went shopping with his dad to purchase an outfit for his school formal. He's chosen a suit, a nice shirt, and a tie, and he modelled the ensemble yesterday afternoon. I felt enormously sooky, and had to fight back the tears. I recall the day I hustled him into his school uniform for his first day of kindergarten. He walked to where his dad was having morning coffee, and a huge grin appeared on his dad's face. 'Look. At. YOU!', smiled his dad at the sweet little boy in his school shirt, shorts, new shoes, and bucket hat.  Some years later, I had to wipe back a few tears watching him take that first walk through the gate of the high school. In a few weeks, I will see him graduate, and the following night I will see him in a suit and tie as, along with his school friends, he finalises this chapter of his life. I will probably be like a dog shut in the laundry.

Again, I want wine. And tissues.