When I was younger, I had aspirations to be an actress. I also had aspirations to be a writer. The latter dream came true, although it doesn't pay my mortgage. Yet. Also, although I could draw, it never occurred to me to try my hand at commercial art. Ergo, I never became a graphic artist. Right now, I am kind of relieved because if certain folks have their way, I might have ended up with no job or outlet for my creativity because I wouldn't be allowed to design a label for a product unless it was 'plain packaging'. You all know about plain packaging laws on cigarettes here. I'm kind of in two minds about that only because I think it encroaches up on the creativity of an artist engaged with the task of designing the product's packaging. That being said, I seriously cannot stand cigarettes anyway.
But last night I was attending a client's house and caught a little snippet of the news, and it was an article that had my eyes rolling like a row of cherries in a poker machine, and had me groaning sotto voce, 'You are fucking kidding me.' It has been submitted by the Adelaide branch of Zonta International to a senate inquiry on gender equality that - hang on, are you ready for this? Are you sitting comfortably? Emptied your bladder? - children's toys be marketed in plain packaging because they believe the designs are likely to reinforce stereotypes that little girls need to be submissive and girly, and boys need to be dominant. Their moronic logic is that these early stereotypes can contribute to domestic violence.
Minions of the Adelaide branch of Zonta International, I don't know any of you personally, to my knowledge, but I would respectfully suggest you wash the pesticides off the fruit before you eat it. I cannot recall hearing such a dumb-arse suggestion since, well since last December when the Greens thought it was a good idea for parents to not buy gender-biased toys for children that Christmas. This just in: I will buy whatever I fucking well want to buy for MY kids, and I don't care if it's girlie, or blokey, or whether the packaging features pink unicorns or army fatigue camouflage pattern.
And like I suggested before, this really does infringe upon the creativity of a graphic artist entrusted to design the packaging for the product. How is the manufacturer meant to get their product sold if they can't make it appealing? Lack of sales leads to job losses, and all because some bloody pack of twerps who don't properly wash the pesticides from the fruit had an arse-hat of an idea and wrecked the whole bloody thing. All products will be packaged in grey cardboard soon. If you're at the liquor store, you will have trouble distinguishing the Grange Hermitage and, if you're like me and forget to take your glasses when shopping, might end up accidentally serving your guests a nasty plonk redolent of lawn mower fuel.
What a dull society we are going to have. Soon we are all going to get around in grey robes, like that episode of 'The Simpsons' where they were brainwashed by a cult.
Why can't people find more sensible ways to address gender inequality?
On a lighter note, the other day I was in the supermarket and I heard a song that I'm sure I'm not going to particularly like. I've just googled to see what caused my consternation as I negotiated aisles with my wilful trolley, and it's a song by a bloke called Lukas Graham. He is in the running for James Blunt Soundalike, and the song had these lyrics, 'Once I was seven years old...'. I couldn't see the point to it at all. Yeah, mostly we WERE all seven years old. In my case a miserable old nun, who had the face and disposition of a constipated ferret, whacked the crap out of me with a ruler.
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