'Simply having a wonderful-' MAKE IT STOP!

 Generally speaking, I enjoy Christmas, notwithstanding the crowds at the shops and the deluge of sucky and sappy songs wafting through the shops' speakers like a malodorous stench. I must confess I am one of the very few who doesn't hate THAT Mariah Carey number. Don't get me wrong, I don't go out of my way to listen to it, but I don't run screaming from the room, hands flattening my ears against my head, should it come on, either. That being said, there are tunes of such tedious turgidity they make my ears shrivel or else try to pull away from my head. Let's discuss these horrors, shall we?

1 Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney. Whoever finalised the decision to award McCartney his knighthood clearly never listened to this. It's just three or so minutes of mind-blowing banality that includes an inane 'ding-dong, ding-dong'. Used properly, the synthesiser is a worthy enough instrument, but not here. I don't play the synthesiser, so I'm not sure what's going on in this piece, but it's jerky and sounds like it's hiccupping. Maybe it got drunk to forget its association with this silly number. The most heinous aspect of this song is that you hear it, and remains stuck in your head, clinging to your brain like a needy octopus wrapping its tentacles around until they are firmly suction cupped into place.

2  Last Christmas by Wham.  Is it a metaphor for exchanging unwanted Christmas gifts? Anyway, if you need me to explain why the song blows, please don't breed.

3 Little Drummer Boy by I-Don't-Know-Whom. It's repetitive boring twaddle and if I were Our Lady and had just given birth in a stable only to have some snotnosed twerp come in and bash a drum, I'd push his freaking head through it!

That's me for now. I've been flat out catching up on uni stuff and trying to make heads or tails of the NSW Advanced English - Stage 6 curriculum. Chaucer might prove less challenging. 

On a different note, I'm really confused as to the vicious bile and hatred these pale old farts like Jeremy Clarkson and Piers Morgan have for Meghan Markle. What The Sun published by Clarkson yesterday went beyond the pale in its foul vitriol. It was filthily nauseating and if you're reading this, Clarkie, surely you can access Viagra to help you achieve the stiffy you know doubt hoped to acquire by writing that disgusting rant. Get in the bin and don't come out.

A Walk Along the Beach, Ending in the Sea

 Don't some things just make you want to walk into the sea? Yesterday, I read that some health expert wants Santa Claus to slim down because it would instill in children the importance of not being obese and making the effort to lose weight when necessary. 

Christ on a motorised pogo stick, really?

This inanity was headlined: Would You Like to See Santa Lose Weight? My answer to that is a big, fat (no pun intended) NO. The only creatures who probably want to see Santa lose weight are the reindeer who have to haul the fat bugger. Can you imagine what an arduous task that would be? The poor things would be sustaining slipped discs and hernias, not to mention the astigmatism from the glare generated by Rudolph's nose in the dark. 

I'm aware different iconic characters have the odd tweak to suit a generation (including nipples on George Clooney's Batman costume), but this idea just ruptures the very fabric of the time/space continuum with its sheer bloody dumbarsery. 

How about promoting fun activities that will help keep weight off children? Santa sits in a sleigh (sedentary behaviour) and visits pretty much every house all over the world, where he pigs into cookies and beer (gluttonous behaviour), so guess what? HE'S GOING TO BE FAT-FAT-THE-WATER-RAT, OKAY?! Just leave Santa alone. Please. 

Here are two more things that make me want to walk into the sea; they're connected, so this is why I'm including them in them in the one section. The first is news journalists (hah!) getting news stories from Tik Tok and the second is the actual stories sourced from Tik Tok. Case in point: the news article was a confused American woman who apparently now domiciles in New Zealand. She posted on Tik Tok a video regarding her confusion about the word 'bauble'. I guess they don't call those dangly round ornaments baubles in the US. Okay, that's fine. Just as accents and dialects vary from region to region and country to country, so does the lingo. But does this twit have malfunctioning psychological schemata that prevent her making the connection with the word ON the box to the things IN the box? And if so, is she too dense to Google the definition, or is this simply a case of requiring validation with a myriad of comments from those who travail the Tik-Toksphere? I'm guessing it's a combination of all suggested scenarios, which is giving credence to my theory that people are getting sillier every day. 

On the brighter side, today I did something I never do; I hung Christmas lights (and if the box had an unfamiliar word, I'd have the common sense to connect the dots). I haven't in the past, but today, I did. I'm happy with my handiwork. It's just a simple row along my front eaves, nowhere near Clark Griswold territory, but I'm feeling accomplished. I've had some stress in my life lately, so any accomplishment makes me happy.

Chat soon, but in the meantime, a tip from Auntie Bingells; please don't attempt to validate yourself with asinine questions on social media platforms.