Don't some things just make you want to walk into the sea? Yesterday, I read that some health expert wants Santa Claus to slim down because it would instill in children the importance of not being obese and making the effort to lose weight when necessary.
Christ on a motorised pogo stick, really?
This inanity was headlined: Would You Like to See Santa Lose Weight? My answer to that is a big, fat (no pun intended) NO. The only creatures who probably want to see Santa lose weight are the reindeer who have to haul the fat bugger. Can you imagine what an arduous task that would be? The poor things would be sustaining slipped discs and hernias, not to mention the astigmatism from the glare generated by Rudolph's nose in the dark.
I'm aware different iconic characters have the odd tweak to suit a generation (including nipples on George Clooney's Batman costume), but this idea just ruptures the very fabric of the time/space continuum with its sheer bloody dumbarsery.
How about promoting fun activities that will help keep weight off children? Santa sits in a sleigh (sedentary behaviour) and visits pretty much every house all over the world, where he pigs into cookies and beer (gluttonous behaviour), so guess what? HE'S GOING TO BE FAT-FAT-THE-WATER-RAT, OKAY?! Just leave Santa alone. Please.
Here are two more things that make me want to walk into the sea; they're connected, so this is why I'm including them in them in the one section. The first is news journalists (hah!) getting news stories from Tik Tok and the second is the actual stories sourced from Tik Tok. Case in point: the news article was a confused American woman who apparently now domiciles in New Zealand. She posted on Tik Tok a video regarding her confusion about the word 'bauble'. I guess they don't call those dangly round ornaments baubles in the US. Okay, that's fine. Just as accents and dialects vary from region to region and country to country, so does the lingo. But does this twit have malfunctioning psychological schemata that prevent her making the connection with the word ON the box to the things IN the box? And if so, is she too dense to Google the definition, or is this simply a case of requiring validation with a myriad of comments from those who travail the Tik-Toksphere? I'm guessing it's a combination of all suggested scenarios, which is giving credence to my theory that people are getting sillier every day.
On the brighter side, today I did something I never do; I hung Christmas lights (and if the box had an unfamiliar word, I'd have the common sense to connect the dots). I haven't in the past, but today, I did. I'm happy with my handiwork. It's just a simple row along my front eaves, nowhere near Clark Griswold territory, but I'm feeling accomplished. I've had some stress in my life lately, so any accomplishment makes me happy.
Chat soon, but in the meantime, a tip from Auntie Bingells; please don't attempt to validate yourself with asinine questions on social media platforms.
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