Those Dreaded Dreads

The big topic that has everybody gasping like offended old maids who have just been propositioned in church is Justin Bieber's dreadlocks.  Uh yeah. That's it: the Beeb's dreads.  No, I didn't type those last few sentences wrong.  It appears shit is being lost because Justin Bieber has bleached his hair and fashioned it into dreadlocks.  The Perpetually Outraged have deemed this offensive and insensitive because he is appropriating a signature 'do from a culture of which he is not a part.  It kind of makes me even more grateful today that, as a travelling twenty-one year old, I declined the offer of the Balinese children to braid and bead my hair in the main street of Kuta one day.  FYI, I refused to have my hair braided and beaded because: (1) I didn't want to sit there for the few hours it would have taken the kids to do it; and (2) I've never wanted to sport cornrows, anyway.  But I would HATE to think I'd misappropriated someone else's culture with my hairstyle.  Wow, that's almost as bad as invading another country.  It's right up there with stealing someone's Internet data.  It's as dastardly as swapping your meal with someone else's at a wedding reception whilst their back is turned, because you don't like carrots, and that person's meal came with corn.  Truly, let's not worry what the little twerp does with his hair (and I thought he looked more like he was travelling through Byron Bay).  I mean, this is a flog who has acted obnoxiously to television crew and spat on fans.  Surely that antisocial behaviour is more revolting than having one's hair styled into dreadies, is it not?  Oh yeah, and that crappy 'Baby' song, too.  Ugh!  Let's not forget about that.

Funnily enough, I'm not really a fan of people sporting accoutrements from other cultures for frivolous reasons.  I remember back in the early Nineties or so Madonna getting about with a Hindu caste mark in the centre of her forehead.  This just in, Madge: you looked a right fool.  Why would you do this?  I knew of a gentile guy who wore a Star of David medallion, and again, I thought this a ridiculous and somewhat disrespectful affectation. 

But yeah, I'm not that annoyed by the Beeb's dreads even though they are symbolic of another culture.  Can't he just do what he wants with his own hair?  Who knows, maybe he is trying to make a respectful reference to the Lion of Judah. 

Right now, I'm having a flashback to being chased down the streets of Kuta by a crowd of kids complaining, 'Come on, lady!  You killing my business!', and me snapping, 'Read my lips, kid!  I don't want my hair braided and beaded!'  I ended up ducking into a music store, and purchasing a bootleg cassette of The Doors to get away from them.