I think I've been scooped up by a tornado, Wizard of Oz style, and dumped in the O.K. Corral post-muster. I must have been; there's bull crap galore. It's everywhere. You can't take a step without hearing a disconcerting, onomatopoeic splat! and feeling a spray of hot droplets landing on the back of your calf muscle. Now I'm having a flashback to my school cross country, which was always held on a property just outside town and you couldn't take five steps without stepping in a cow flop.
The new design of our five dollar note is total BS. Here's an idea, folks: go back to the one we had. Piss the Queen off, and reinstate Caroline Chisolm. The current design still features Her Madge, but it's got a wishy washy palette of pastels that would make Ken Done's paintings look like the cover to a Megadeth album. There also appears to be a representation of wattle, but the flowers just look like bloated, jaundiced witchetty grubs.
Today I had to take to a notice in my work place with the white out. Well, there was a misplaced apostrophe. The notion that apostrophes precede the 's' in a noun's plural form is total BS, too. You will note correct apostrophe placement in the word 'noun's' because it's POSSESSIVE. Whoever typed, printed and laminated this sign: don't be annoyed with me. Indeed, thank me. I've also sneaked some post-its from the office because I'm going to finally do something about that damnable sign that reads 'sponsered' instead of 'sponsored' at my club trivia game tomorrow night. It's pissed me off for far too long. So too has the blackboard menu featuring the 'omellet'. What the fuck is an 'omellet'? I'm not eating one; it's sounds like it might be the gizzards of a komodo dragon.
But the best tauro-scatological thing I saw today happened just before I ate my dinner. I was reading a thread about the appeal of a man against a sexual assault conviction. His appeal has been 'successful' to a degree in that he has been granted a new trial. This site on which I was read this is a very staunch feminist one, whereby if a man breathes near a woman it is just a sign of society's inherent misogyny. Oh yeah, the writers and commenters on this site also don't know the meaning of the word 'misogyny'. (Thanks a lot, Gillard, you fathead; since your infamous 'misogyny' speech nobody, with the exception of an informed few, knows the actual meaning of the word). Well, someone made a comment wondering was the original trial judge male or female, because that always has an influence over the outcome, and only female judges should hear rape trials. Anybody with even the slightest bit of common sense, let alone any background in the legal profession (and your humble blogger has a very staunch one - 25 years prior to becoming a care worker) knows that this is the most mind-blowing, jaw-dropping, head-scratching, labia-tightening, pubic hair-straightening bullshit assertion since the Big Bang occurred!!!! Naturally, I could not let this stupidity pass sans comment. I congratulated the commenter on the silliest and most ignorant thing I had read all day. I pointed out trials are decided NOT by the judge's gender, but by evidence and points of law. I pointed out a trial cannot be fair and impartial if only one gender is allowed to hear such trial. I also pointed out the unlikelihood of a woman studying law, qualifying, and then working her way up to the appointment at the bench being happy just to have her gender called in on her professional duty. Finally, I pointed out the inherent sexism in that notion. It would appear the comment and my reply have been deleted from the thread. Why is this? Do people not like common sense and informed comments? I had to hold back and not say what went through my mind when I read that remark. I will say it here, and I know it is an unpleasant remark, but if the person who published that assertion is reading this: you're a fucking idiot.
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