Thursday, 6 July 2017

Oh, My(er) God; The World's Gone Nuts Again!

I'm going to put it out there to whomsoever happens to be reading this: are you one of the animal rights activists who complained about Myer's ad with Katy Perry?  If you are, then what the fuck is wrong with you?  I too believe there is a special place in Hell reserved for anybody who is cruel to an animal, but to complain about Myer's ad on the basis that, in your skewed view of the world, this ad promotes cruelty to koalas, is really a misuse of the oxygen this planet is labouring to produce as rainforests are decimated.  If you have a problem with this ad, I would suggest you mix some cement powder with water (I'm pretty sure there are no animal products there, so it's okay), have a good long draught of this mixture, and then HARDEN THE FUCK UP!

I have a slight problem with this ad, and that problem is this: the ad is mind-numbingly, jaw-clenchingly, nostril-flaringly, screw-up-the-eyes, sphincter-tighteningly lame.  It's honestly one of the most pointless, pedestrian, bland and banal offerings to ever come from an ad agency.  To the advertising agency that claims this as their brainchild, I seriously suggest you sit down and consider your life choices.  It's so anodyne.  The said chanteuse says her piece from a script that I daresay was written by the work experience student, and on the promise she is visiting us here in Australia, says to her dog something like, 'Come on, Nugget; let's go chase some koalas.'  Now, this offbeat, throwaway line is what has so many activists up in arms.  These twerps don't seem to understand nuance, nor jokes, nor, nor anything, really.  I will type this slowly for you: Katy Perry and her dog are not going to go out and chase koalas thus causing them injury or death.  Okay?  Understand?  And given Nugget actually looks like a brown pompom, I highly doubt he could cause any damage to a koala.  However, if he catches one in a foul mood, the koala might just cause some damage to Nugget with its claws (after it pisses on him, which is a rather antisocial trait displayed by koalas).

Honestly, I really think we are going to have a race of overly precious sooks who cannot understand subtlety of different humour types, and just about every time someone tries to be funny, there is going to be a hue and cry, shit will be lost, and we will not be allowed to laugh at anything.

Don't like an ad?  Don't buy the product.  Simple.  Also, if you're concerned about the content of an ad glorifying behaviour or traits that are offensive to you, go for a walk around the block and think it through.  Really think it through.  I would suggest if you had really thought it through, it would be apparent that Katy Perry is not really coming out with her pompom-on-legs to torture our unique and urologic fauna.  I'm sure Barnaby Joyce will have something to say about it if she does (Katy, declare your mutt).

People, lighten up a little.  Stop griping about everything, and starting inane petitions and complaints. You don't see me firing up with petitions over ads for sanitary products that seek to demonstrate the product's efficacy by blue ink dispensed from a dropper, do you?  In case you haven't guessed, those ads annoy the living snot out of me.  This just in, advertisers: menstrual blood is NOT blue.

Rant over.  Last night, I watched the sequel to 'Trainspotting'.  I thought it almost as good as the original.  Mr Bingells watched by association.  He was in another room and could hear the television loud and clear.  I had to crank up the volume because my youngest son had a friend over, and they were playing some loud and noisy game which I suspect was a re-enactment of the invasion of the Visigoths.  But here comes the segue - the original movie had an effect of me, as did the brilliant novel upon which it's based.  It actually became a motif in what is my first novel: 'Calumny While Reading Irvine Welsh' (Welsh is the author of the book 'Trainspotting').  Feel free to go to the links on my blog and read the first chapter of that novel.  Feel even more free to purchase a copy!

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