As the children get older, it gets harder to blog in peace. First of all, telling them to vacate MY computer has them wailing and resentful like a person who has lost a limb. When I sit down, there is racket aplenty in the background. At present, my youngest is dancing around in the kitchen to 'Take On Me' by Aha. He was dancing to 'Don't Stop Til You Get Enough' by Jacko previously. He's actually meant to be unstacking the dishwasher, a chore so intense in its mundanity as to necessitate a perusal for these songs on You Tube, thus enabling him to hoof it around the kitchen. Seeing him messing around with cutlery and crockery during the aforementioned Michael Jackson number kind of reminded me of practical home science lessons when we were allowed to play a tape recorder - those of you under thirty years of age might need to Google this. One of the girls in my year had a copy of 'Off The Wall', the studio album that contained that song. Under the watchful eye of the malign old shrew that taught the lesson, we would be whisking or sifting, listening to Jackson's dulcet tones. The girl who brought in the cassette (again, all you under-30s, go to Google) spoke about the merits of the songs and of the talent of the pre-surgery Jackson, then added, 'He's good looking, too.' Whether she would have held that opinion in later years as the surgeries increased and his weirdness intensified, I do not know. I might ask her at my next school reunion.
My, there are some gronks around, aren't there? All I seem to have done this weekend is wade through a mire of gronky miasma. I think it started yesterday at the bowling alley, when we treated my son and some friends. In the next lane was a guy whom I suspect might have been smuggling bowling balls under his t-shirt, and when he bent over to bowl, the back of his trackie daks travelled southward, showing all and sundry an unappealing expanse of butt crack.
To the gronk behind me at the traffic lights this morning, I must apologise for wasting a second of your precious time when I shifted into first gear as the light changed from red to green. Sorry I couldn't take off with the ferocity of Alan Moffitt, but I didn't want to stall my car. Your honking certainly signified your impatience. I hope you got home before the explosive bout of diarrhoea that threated came to fruition. What other reason could have you to honk so impatiently when the driver in the car in front of you (that driver being ME) was in the process of changing gears and letting out a clutch? Let's face it: every nano-second is precious when the bowels are threatening a volcanic eruption, and like I said, that's the only reason you could have had to honk like that.
The gronks that left their trolleys in the parking bays at the supermarket today - there is a special corner in Hell reserved for you all.
Then we come to Chris Lilley. I actually don't think Lilley is a gronk. I think he's a rather clever satirist. He has landed himself in some doo-doo by sharing a clip of himself performing his 'Angry Boy's character, US rapper S.Mouse. If you haven't seen it - he presents as an African American rap artist. The song performed is called 'Squashed N***a', and it's about an African American who is run over. Aside from the blackface Lilley dons, there is the problem that he has shared this clip just after the verdict in the Elijah Doughty death case. Lilley, for a comedian, you sure do have a problem with timing sometimes! Oddly, I recall when 'Summer Heights High' was screened, the episode addressing Mr G's school musical about a student who overdosed on ecstasy occurred around the same time as the death, or inquest or hearing into that death, of a young party girl who - yeah - took an overdose of ecstasy. This I'm sure was nothing sinister on Lilley's part; just a grisly and unfortunate coincidence. Although I like Lilley's earlier material, I personally didn't find S.Mouse funny. I wasn't offended by any perceived cultural appropriation at all. Nay, I just wasn't amused. But you're probably wondering where the gronk theme of this post ties in. Well, it relates to Lilley, but he's not the gronk. No, the gronk is the Twitter user who posted a picture of Lilley in character as schoolgirl Ja'mie King, and said words to the effect, "the prick was absolutely dripping in misogyny first". What the utter fuck? Seriously? How is portraying a character who happens to be a bratty school girl 'misogyny'. Fuck me sideways, people are getting sillier every day. These people happen to be what I will now think of as 'the recreationally offended'. Read that term tonight, and it's a pearler. I did respond to this tweet, and asked for clarification on how misogyny applies to a male actor playing a female character he has created. At the time of typing this post, I have had no response. My reasoning is that there is none. I am hoping the Twitter user has actually picked up a dictionary, or a psychology textbook, and appraised him- or herself of the actually meaning of 'misogyny'. This user could of course be the same fathead that wrote Gillard's 'misogyny' speech, and unleashed a generation of people crying out this awesome new buzzword without an atom's nucleus amount of knowledge of the actual meaning of the word. And I am sitting here in the unbearable, insufferable smugness of one who actually DOES know, and is therefore very unlikely to use it in these situations. So there.
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