Over the past few days I've been reading comments about how Yumi Stynes turned up to the premiere of 'Paddington' with her six month old baby, gracing the red carpet attired in nought but a nappy. I will point out to the fetishists and thick-skinned that it was the baby wearing the nappy, not Yumi (oh, for the fetishists, there is to be a protest at the British parliament about the banning of certain acts in the pornographic film world, so watch this space and I'll keep you appraised, if you don't end up Googling it). Yumi wore an outfit I didn't particularly like, but that's not he point of this post. Hey, I don't particularly like the outfit I'M wearing at the moment, either. There were Aussie celebs at this premiere, mainly mums with children in tow. I might have to check with the Bureau of Meteorology whether a storm cell has manifested itself in a teacup. There are two main sides in the ensuing brouhaha (yeah, there's a brouhaha about a celeb of some sort who does not particularly rate on my radar who had an infant clad in a nappy. I know, sheesh, right?): there are those who defend her right to dress the bubster how she sees fit, given it was likely stinking hot given it's the Australian summer; then there are those who think she is the worst mother since that old bag who lived in the shoe, and kept popping out kids until her uterus exploded. I am not a fan of Yumi Stynes, and this is due to the disgraceful comments she and her cronies on the now defunct 'The Circle' made about a decorated war hero, a man who has more integrity and achieved more than the lot of those scum-balls combined. If I met the woman, I might feel differently. Hey, it's happened before: I used to bag another television talking-head, met the woman in person, and was charmed. But back to the point. I am not going to champion her right to dress the kid in nothing but a nappy, nor am I going to demand a FACS intervention. What I will question is: why would you do this? Possibly the kid had barfed pureed carrots down the front of its outfit before stepping out of the car, but having had a couple of kids myself I know you venture NOWHERE without a spare change of clothes in tow when kids are that small. Let me remind you the event they were attending was held in a cinema. I enjoy movies. I attend when I can and my experience has always been there are only two settings on the air conditioning unit in these venues, depending on the time of year, and they are (1) Glacial, and (2) Thermonuclear. I just hope she had a shawl or something for the kid. And one final thing: babies will occasionally release a poo of volcanic force, with the mustard-coloured contents seeping and leaking through leg-holes and up the baby's back at the top of the nappy. Clothing can absorb some of the impact, which is another good reason to clothe the kid.
'Wash away my troubles
Wash away my pain
With the rain of Shambala'
Ring any bells? It's 'Shambala' by Three Dog Night. It's a great song, one I'd forgotten until a friend reminded of it the other night. I love the harmonies and delivery, so much so I put it on my iPod tonight. It soothes me a bit. And we've had a bit of rain here today. It poured for a while this morning, and I got alarmed, which is a by-product of having had my house flooded in a freakish storm on Anzac Day.
Another one I put on my iPod tonight is 'Blurred Lines'. I've been meaning to do this for ages. It's a guilty pleasure of mine. Some will criticise my choice, but let me point out the song is not 'rapey', as other commentators will scream until they are blue in the face. At no point, to my knowledge, does the narrator of the song say words to the effect, 'I'm going to have sex with you against your will'. Wanna ban something? Go after networks that screen the old Pepe Le Pew cartoons. No that fucking stinking rodent is rapey!
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