When I was in my early twenties, my cousin and I went to (I think) Sydney Cove Tavern and watched the Cockroaches. No offence, dudes, but you guys weren't really my cup of tea. Having typed that, I'm sure the former members of the band are unperturbed a woman they've never met didn't really get into their music.
Unless you've been living on Mars (in which case, welcome back and I'm glad you didn't burn up on re-entry), you'd be aware the Cockroaches kind of morphed into the Wiggles. Like with their previous incarnation, I attended a Wiggles concert, this time in my capacity as a parent, and did not have a good time because I had to drag my then three-year-old and carry my then four-month-old up to the nosebleed seats, and clamber and stumble along a row of people, mumbling: 'Excuse me, excuse me, pardon me, ooops sorry...', clobbering people with a nappy bag in my wake. And the minute we took our seats, my oldest kid said, 'Mummy, I want to do a wee!' And when we had resumed our seats, clobbering the same hapless patrons with my nappy bag as before, the kid said he wanted the toilet again. He did absolutely nothing, and was told in no uncertain terms to not ask for the toilet unless he genuinely needed it because Mummy had absolutely no intention of spending the entire show climbing up and down the damn stairs. And when we had resumed our seats, my baby filled his nappy. Ah, happy memories of parenthood. I must admit, I am having a bit of a chuckle remembering that day. It has taken a long time, given my oldest child is now twenty and the youngest seventeen, but I can actually laugh a bit about it now.
As with many other parents, the Wiggles were a quasi-babysitter for me when I would be preparing dinner or bathing the baby. They're an institution.
Well, what's been in the news lately is the Wiggles have morphed into a different lineup. They now have eight members instead of four, and are considerably more gender and culturally diverse than the original lineup of four men. I have always been one who dislikes art being altered for the sake of political correctness, but I don't see these changes as bowing to the 'woke' crowd. Nay, it is a reflection of evolving society and a reflection that we are not all cis-het Anglos. I applaud Anthony Field and the others on making this change, which acknowledges diversity and inclusivity.
But the changes have not pleased everybody. Oh no. There are some who having taken great umbrage at this new lineup. These people probably also lost their shit when Emma became the first female in the group because the Wiggles are guiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyys! Everyone knows that!
Senator Matt Canavan (the one with the coal-smeared face and prop hard hat in his Twitter profile pic) has been critical of their decision, and warned them that if they 'go woke', they 'go broke'. Um, given their reputation and current net worth, I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen, Matt. Oh, and wash your face - you look like a Dickensian orphan who has to clean chimneys, except not cherubic - just plain shitty.
However, the politician who wins the award for Abject Jackassery is Lyle Shelton. He's started a petition, to be presented to Anthony Field, requesting they stop what they're doing, which according to Lyle is - I shit you not - 'indoctrinating kids into harmful LGBTIQA+ ideology'. Lyle, I mean this in the nicest possible way, but WHAT THE FUCK DRUGS ARE YOU ON? Oh, I get it. It's because of the new character that's a nonbinary unicorn, isn't it? Did you miss the part about it being a UNICORN? I haven't researched unicorns, so I don't know if they're meant to be binary, nonbinary, hermaphroditic, asexual, cis-gendered, straight, gay, or Nickelback fan; but they don't exist, so why worry about who, what, or how they're interested in shagging? Tell you what, I would like to be a fly on the wall when Anthony Field receives that petition. I think it's more likely that he will roll about on the floor laughing than say, 'Oh, no! We're poisoning the children with our wild counter-culture ideology. How could we have not consulted Lyle Shelton before instigating these cockamamie and crackpot notions? Sorry, newbies, you're going to have to register for Jobseeker and that includes the NIDA graduate in the nonbinary unicorn costume!'
Did anybody else see the recent footage of Anthony wearing nose plugs and singing to a Covid patient? The patient was a twenty-two year old woman with Down's Syndrome who wouldn't keep her nose plugs in place. She was also a humongous Wiggles fan, so one of the nurses contacted the Wiggles to see if something could be done. And something WAS done. Anthony played a song with lyrics explaining the importance of her keeping the nose plugs in place, and Anthony wore some to show her they wouldn't hurt her. This put a tear in my eye. Nurses are awesome, too.
You know what's NOT awesome? Stupidity and pettiness propagated by dickwad politicians like Charcoal-Cheeks Canavan and Lyle. There was a trending hashtag some time ago: #EatShitLyle. I refrained from putting that in my tweets, and will still refrain from saying it. I might say this instead: Lyle, attempt your own impregnation as you go away.
Viva the new Wiggles!
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