Wednesday, 11 August 2021

Mixed Bag: Walker, Texas Ranger; Chimney Sweeps; and Rodriguez

 Some things are a puzzle. I was, um, puzzling over them today. I puzzle over things at random times, but usually when they are brought to my notice. Here are some of them:

1. The appeal of Walker, Texas Ranger. Don't get me wrong; Chuck is adequate in this role, but the whole premises just seems like gung-ho bulldust. I was reminded of it yesterday when I was at an old lady's house. It was on the television and there was the pretty much obligatory scene with Walker leaping in, hands chopping and feet kicking; and taking out three bad guys, a fence, and the buffet table in a single one-minute session. The lady said to me, 'You'd think his feet would get sore, wouldn't you?' Maybe. But I tell you this: the ears get sore listening to that cringe-worthy patriotic embarrassment of a theme song. Why did they let Norris sing it? Was everybody scared of Chuck opening a can of whoop-ass on them if they told him he happens to carry a tune like a skateboard carries a hippopotamus?

2. What was going through the mind of the numbskull who drove from Sydney to Byron Bay to look at real estate. Seriously, what twatwaffle does this when his wife is in hospital with Covid? What ails some people, aside from a serious dearth of reasoning ability? I'm just pissed off. My town's in lockdown and I don't know if we will come out tomorrow, which has so far been the original plan. My town is not near Byron Bay, but it's the principle that's grinding my gears. If you're reading this, you clown: You (*clap*) are (*clap) an ARSEHOLE (*jazz hands*).

3. Was Senator Matt Canavan's morphing from a human being (kind of!) to a completely soulless, heartless dickwad a gradual process or a sudden and startling total transmogrification, complete with fireworks and a mariachi band. His profile photograph with the coal-smeared countenance is beyond wanky (who does he think he's kidding?), but he appears to care more about money than he does human lives. I've copied this text from one of his recent tweets:

We don't all drive Volvos and we don't put a hospital in every country town even though those decisions would save lives.

Is there something wrong with saving lives? I'd rather spend some tax dollars on saving people. I'd like to look in the mirror and know I'd done something to help people, instead of looking to artfully apply soot like an actor playing a Dickensian chimney sweep. 

4. Why I do certain things. The thing in question is waste my time explaining to someone that the word 'professor is both a common noun and a proper noun, depending upon context. By way of explanation, I am a member of a Facebook dedicated to grammar and spelling (yes, I know it's a shock; pick yourselves up from the floor). Some of the members are EAL, but I think this person I was interacting with was deliberately obtuse. He wanted to know whether to refer to some professorial types in a missive with a capital 'P'. I advised if he is addressing the learned folk by their courtesy title, then it's Capital P. He kept responding that professor was a common noun. Well, it is. However, it's also a courtesy title. It got to the point where I wanted to type in shouty capitals: DID I FUCKING STUTTER, but I managed to keep it together. More importantly, I think I got the OP to realise when and where to capitalise his 'P'. But I later reflected I had wasted a goodly chunk of my evening quarreling over this. Jeez-Louise. 

As Rodriguez so artfully and soulfully sang years ago: I wonder.

No comments:

Post a Comment