Palpable Jackassery

 I know I said I'd compile a Side B for the foul ghouls and jackals we have in our lives, but I got sidetracked. The good news in my life is I got 77% on my final assessment in the Creative Writing unit in my university studies. Bad news is I'm freezing cold today and my renovations are not finished.

Best get onto that list. But there is another list and it comprises jackasses. It's only a short one, but the jackassery in this list is palpable, with the ability to stun and debilitate at fifty paces. Here we go:

1. Rebel Wilson for her advice to Sydney about the current lockdown. It goes something like 'WTF' and 'You can't keep locking down as a strategy.' Rebster, your Twitter profile lists your credentials as actress, writer, and producer. Nowhere did I see the word 'epidemiologist', so just fuck off with your blathering, okay? Hell, I think I'd rather see another nauseating story about your weight loss than one about your advice on how to best handle a pandemic. Piss off.

2. John Barilaro for talking about having the third 2021 Origin game played in Newcastle, given the current lockdown in Sydney. Also for destroying koala habitats. Then there's his government's sell-off of local TAFE. Just when you think the jackassery has plateaued, he calls in the FPIU because a YouTube comedian teased him. You're a politician, so you need a thick skin! Seriously, dude, what do you do when you see someone in your street parked on the nature strip? Call in the TRG? *Knock at my front door, my dog goes ballistic, son answers the door to some badge-wielding nongs who say: 'FPIU. Your mother home?'*

3. Whoever issued a directive to teachers to hyphenate when writing reports, such as: "Johnny is able to sound-out difficult words when reading aloud". I don't know if this is nationwide or if it's just in Victoria. A friend of mine who is in the Victorian education system posted on Facebook about it, and it's fair to say I went into meltdown. If the arse-clown responsible for this total heinousness is reading, then let me type this slowly for you: This. Is. NOT. How. Hyphens. Are. Used! 'Sound out' is a verbal phrase, and in the event you need reminding: verbs are 'doing' words. Putting the hyphen in will change the phrase's function, most likely to a noun or adjectival phrase. To demonstrate: 'A stand-in will stand in for a person who is unavailable' or 'We are about to drive by the house that was the scene of a drive-by shooting'. Don't put hyphens in verbal phrases, okay? I'm glad I wasn't asked to write that in a report; the resultant fireworks would have seen every dog within a five-mile radius (see what I did there?) escape and run away.

Well, I had best get my mask, my son, and my son's mask, then head off to the dentist. 

Ciao for now.