I'm pondering some blurb about a hypothetical studio compiling an album dedicated to those people whose raison d'etre, whose great calling, whose divine vocation, or whose plain twisted hobby appears to be ensuring they render every aspect of your life miserable as they either just suck the joy out of life with the force of an imploding black hole, or else just deliberately make you miserable for whatever grotesque self-justification they conjure. Yes, here at Bingells Blog we play AAAAAAALLL-LLLLLL the hits, and dedicate these ones to the poltroons, the fiends, the scapegraces, the swine, the malfeasants, or the plain old meany-poopy-heads - whatever you want to call them - that you have the misfortune to be struggling with in your lives at present:
1. Two Faces Have I by Lou Christie or Ol' 55 (choose whatever version you want). I know this song is really about a person who is putting on a cheerful visage to hide his true feelings, but on the basis of the title alone, I'm dedicating it to those duplicitous types who'd stab you betwixt the shoulder blades as soon as look at you. I know some people like this, and I'm sure you do, too.
2. Bad Blood by Neil Sedaka (Elton John on backing vocals). I think this is an underrated number. I also think Elton's Greek chorus style delivery of 'Baaaaaaad' after Neil sings his bit sounds a bit like a lamb bleating for its mother (have a listen; you'll totally get what I mean). I do like this song very much and the title makes me think of bitter and toxic jackals from Hell who manifest spite and perpetuate their acrimony with the mulish determination of a malign toad.
3. I Hate Everything About You by Ugly Kid Joe. I like this song. It's quirky and has a great Fuck-You tone in its delivery. And yes, there are people I know who have utterly no redeeming qualities; and I'm sure you know people exactly like this, too.
4. A Town Called... by Kevin Bloody Wilson. It's Kevin Bloody Wilson, which should give you a hint about what this town might be called. If you are unable to access this tune, the narrative has Wilson giving directions like: 'Take a left on Screw You Avenue/Take a right on Wank Stain Lane...', until you reach a town called ... Go Fuck Yourself. Be honest, peeps: haven't we all wanted to say this to certain people at times? I know I have.
5. Don't Expect Me to be Your Friend by Lobo. This goes out to the aforementioned toxic jackals who are free and easy with vicious spite and who really need to get on Whereis for those directions to the aforementioned town.
Well, that might do for Side A. I might think of some more for Side B soon, but I also want to think of some tunes that we would dedicate to the people in our lives who have been there for us when we've needed them. For the times when we've been hurt or maligned by total shit-gibbons who should just crawl back under their respective rocks, there are people who have listened and helped pick us up. I am lucky to have a good network of friends and family who have given support and encouragement when I have needed it, and trust me, I definitely needed it this past week. To them I say: Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment