Saturday, 5 September 2020

Tedious Tunes & Dull Ditties

 When people hate on songs, it's often for obvious reasons like in the case of novelty songs that really grate on your tits after - or even halfway through - the initial listen. I loathed Shaddap Ya Face the moment I heard it, and the forty-year time frame since Joe Dolce committed that unforgivable felony has done nothing to temper my detestation of what is just pathetic dung accessorised with lyrics. 

Yet, there are some songs that are loathsome simply because they're as boring as the dried bad guano adhering to the floor of a cave. I've made a little list and beg your forgiveness as I remind you of these turgid, torpid, turd-like tunes.

1. Breakfast at Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something. This song is so banal. Dude, she's breaking up with you because you bore the shit out of her, and this song has, in her mind, galvanised her resolve to never speak to you again.

2. Africa by Toto. This is just so...bloody...BORING. What is the point to this shite-fest?

3. I Don't Like Mondays by The Boomtown Rats. I have the utmost admiration for Bob Geldof as a humanitarian. Live Aid was the seminal pop culture moment of my young adulthood. But oh God, this dreary song! How on Earth did Geldof and his Rats manage to juxtapose such a horrifying subject matter against such a dull song? I cannot stand this song, and practically sprain my wrist turning off the radio should it come on when I'm driving (I'm old; I listen to AM, okay?)

4. 7 Years by Lukas Graham. It's just whiny bloat that goes nowhere.

5. All of Me by John Legend. Sometimes it's nice when an artist releases a paean directed to the love of his or her life. Not this time. This tedious offering has me vacillating between catatonia or else barfing my guts out into a sick bucket.

Anyway, that will do for now. If anyone wants to leave a comment about songs they personally don't like or find boring, I'd love to read them.

No comments:

Post a Comment