It 'Shore' Is Obnoxious

 Spring is in the air; as is the pollen. People are flocking to the hardware stores to purchase gardening supplies, and other people are feeling inspired and getting right into the spring cleaning. Traditionally, a young man's mind turns to fancy, but middle-aged people's minds often turn to clearing out the car port, which is a good thing because my car port has been driving me crazy-apeshit bonkers. Being September, there is another tradition rising to the surface, and that is the Year Twelve Muck-Up Day. 

I like this tradition, except when people behave badly. Has anyone else read about the checklist for the boys at one of the private schools in Sydney? It is a pretty offensive one, truth be told. The items to be ticked off include spitting on a homeless man and whacking some random in the genitalia. To my knowledge, Shore School is verifying the authenticity of the list, but if it is real, it makes me wonder about the mindset and entitlement of some of these boys, who seems to be fast-tracking themselves for membership to the Young Liberals. Astronomical school fees and these hellclowns don't know that assaulting someone whether with your saliva or a thump in the nads is wrong? As an aside, on the off-chance they DO whack a random in the genitalia, I hope the random recovers quickly enough to retaliate with a well-aimed roundhouse kick to their stupid, boater-wearing heads.

My oldest had his own Year 12 'Muck-Up' last year. He donned an inflatable Tyrannosaurus Rex suit and went on a scavenger hunt with a some of his classmates, who were dressed in drag. I'm proud to say he didn't assault anybody. I remember my own, all dem years ago. I didn't commit an act of assault on anybody, either. Some might say flour bombing teachers is an assault, but hey, they gave as good as they got. I still remember the squicky feeling of having a rotten tomato squashed onto my head by the relieving geography teacher. The worst stunt we pulled was booby-trapping the toilets with Glad Wrap. The unfortunate victim was the cleaning lady, who actually apologised to us for ruining the trick. If it were me, I would have strangled us all. I suppose it was a piece of luck she had her mop and bucket with her.

But making a to-do list that includes challenges that border on plain offensive elitism and criminality? Never mind firing some people into the sun, these little arse-hats should be yeeted right into Betelgeuse.