Because restrictions are lifting, on Friday evening we dined en famille, along with a friend of my eldest son, at a local pub with a Thai restaurant. I love Thai food, and I ate and ate and ate to bursting point. The occasion? The older son's birthday. It was his actual birthday on Thursday. Thursday was the official anniversary of that day nineteen years ago when I realised it is possible to feel exhausted yet ready to climb Mt Everest, tearful yet full of laughter, protective, as though a question has been answered ('So THAT'S what you look like!'), and fall in love - all at that same crazy second.
I still remember opening my exhausted eyes to see a tiny slippery little scrap of humanity in the gloved hands of a midwife, who placed him on my chest and he looked up at me with an indignant and puzzled expression on his face. The indignance has never really resurfaced, but the puzzlement and quizzical nature was always there: when he was three, all he ever said was 'Why?', and he was constantly asking me questions like why the streets of our town were thus named and designed in the manner they were. All I could tell him was that I'm not a civil engineer and therefore not in a position to help.
The scrap now towers over me, and will probably be heading back to his on-campus accommodation soon to continue his journey to becoming a Maths teacher. The university is due to resume in August.
I'm proud of him, and I know that resettling him in his student digs won't be that difficult. We went through it all at the beginning of February, and I didn't cry that much. Thought I'd be howling like a dog shut in the laundry, but that didn't eventuate.
Speaking of learning, I'm doing a subject online and had to purchase a text book today. I was shopping yesterday and saw a pair of shoes - they were a little like sneakers crossed with espadrilles, and oh, how I yearned for them. But knowing I have to prioritise, I put them back on the shelf, and today went on Amazon and ordered my textbook. I feel very mature and responsible.
But I do want those shoes.
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