1. Madonna. For those who know me, this is not news. I have never been a fan of this charm-deprived harridan at all. She is a soulless fake, and her songs are pretty boring. So you're probably wondering what she has done to warrant a mention from me tonight. Weeeellll, I was scrolling through my Twitter feed tonight, and saw a video she has posted. Before I continue, can I just ask celebrities to not try and cheer us so much, you know, with things like a clip of a bunch of you singing Imagine? It just reeks of privileged and wealthy wankery, and it's just so not relatable. Madge also got in on the act with a clip of her singing a reworking of Vogue into a hand mirror (the lyrics had been appropriated about being unable to buy certain foodstuffs - maybe she meant truffle-seeped caviar but I stopped listening because my ears were hurting). But let's leave that segue there and I will just bet back to what Madge posted. This clip has her blathering about how it doesn't matter how rich you are, how smart you are, where you live, or how old you are - whatever! - Covid-19 is the 'great equaliser' and that it's made us all 'equal', and that's what's 'terrible' about it. I'm sure the Surgeon General and WHO are grateful to Madge for informing people of this fact. She says that's also what's 'wonderful' about it, and when the ship is going down, we're all going down together.
I cannot stomach faux-spiritual platitudes with a dose of nihilism at the best of times, but what made this one even more implausibly preposterous is that Madonna delivers her message sitting in a luxurious setting: a bathtub set among tea candles and rose petals floating on the water, and with harp music in the background. I'm starting to wonder if she's seriously fried.
2. Prue MacSween. She posted a tweet about this virus being linked to bats, and for Gladys Berejiklian to 'exterminate' the bats. She's like a shrewish bogan Dalek! And if she's of a mind bats should be eradicated, she might want to consider going into hiding herself. Did we exterminate horses after equine flu? Pigs after swine flu? Birds after SARS? Prue, stop already.
3. Gerry Harvey for gloating about the increased sales figures enjoyed by Harvey Norman during this epidemic. People are dying, you avaricious old grub. It is not unreasonable to feel some relief that your business is not suffering, but sometimes you just have to keep it to yourself, or pick a better phrase. But you are the same shitgibbon who said welfare was for no-hopers, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you would be so callous. Just remember this: there are no pockets in a shroud.
So, who's enjoying the current pall hanging over the world? No? Me, neither. I'm not enjoying social distancing. I'm not enjoying that we've removed our son from school (but think it's right under the circumstances). I'm not enjoying I can't go to the gym or yoga (I found some yoga clips on You Tube, so that will keep me sane). I'm not enjoying I can't go to the trivia and show off the fact I know what is the capital city of Lithuania.
BUT - the sooner we all keep our distance and get this virulent fucker under control, the sooner we can start slowly rebuilding our lives. And there will be some serious rebuilding. My heart broke seeing the stories on television today: people who were in hospitality or fitness who have lost their livelihoods because of the closure of gyms and entertainment venues. I'm in health care, so still have work. I can tutor via FaceTime and Skype etc, with a white board behind me.
With the spare time I have not going to the gym or movies etc, I will be working on some projects to be finalised. Also, there will likely be a new option to purchase my books soon - watch this space. I will let you know when the option is available, and if you're in lockdown, maybe I can entertain you!
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