Whilst one is stuck indoors, one likes to check one's socials. Unfortunately one is often assailed with dumbarsery that plumbs the nefarious depths of the most unholy dumbarsery ever, leaving one wondering if the planet is, in fact, seriously doomed. I'm referring to Good Ol' #45, that personified Dorito in the White House, who asked why doctors and first responders cannot reuse face masks a 'second, third, fourth time'. Um, probably the same reason we don't reuse toilet paper and condoms a 'second, third, fourth time'. Grrrrr!
Anyway, I found myself reading a thread wherein people were asked to @ their worst songs ever, and some of the ones nominated were seriously crap. It got me thinking about songs that really are just bleak, boring, or banal. I daresay those murky melodies are even worse than the obvious stinkers like Achy Breaky Heart. To cheer you, or else drive you mad with earworms, I list hereunder a few dreary, dirge-like turds:
1. |Breakfast at Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something. It seems I'm not the only one whose teeth are set on edge by this song. Look, a mutual enjoyment of an old Audrey Hepburn movie is not enough fodder for resurrecting a moribund relationship. Let it die, already. And could radio stations not keep playing this? That would be great.
2. Amazing by Alex Lloyd. This song is as boring as shit!
3. Paradise by Coldplay. Yeah, Coldplay are an easy target, but this really is an irritating song. It's like being pelted with cotton wool balls by a fairy: superficially harmless, but with the power to drive you insane after a short while.
4. No Aphrodisiac by The Whitlams. So there's no aphrodisiac like loneliness, hey? Well, there's no boner-killer like this song. I'm referring to both traditional and lady-boners.
5. Love and Other Bruises by Air Supply. This song is unbelievably inane, even before you factor into the equation the overwrought, pained delivery that has you wondering did Graham Russell stomp on Russell Hitchcock's foot in the recording studio. But I cannot move onto the next number without complaining about the opening verse, wherein it is stated 'as the ice melts into snow'. Um, what? Did you lot actually listen in Science? Ice (a solid) melts into water (a liquid), not snow (another solid).
6. Big Yellow Taxi by Counting Crows. I actually don't mind this band as a rule, but this is a truly pointless remake, if ever there was one. I don't know what's worse: shit remakes (think UB40's catalogue) or pointless ones like this heap of dried bat guano. This remake captures none of the pathos in Joni Mitchell's original, and doesn't make me care about the environment they way Joni Mitchell's original does. |All it does is make me go ugh when I hear it.
Anyway, I had best away. It's been raining today, which is lovely, but I think it's done something to the fennel-fest in the vacant lot next door. I don't know if I have a clinical allergy to fennel, and I do enjoy aniseed flavouring and fennel bulbs in salad, but whenever the lot next to us is mown, I smell fennel and sneeze like mad. Right now, I'm not sneezing, but I do feel a bit puffy around the eyes and my nose feels a bit blocked.
Ciao for now.
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