Is it safe to look yet? (*logs into social media feeds to see if it's gone, and yes, it seems safe*)
Aaaah, they're dwindling in number and it's safe to look. Yes, I think I only saw one today. One what, you ask? One article on Egg-Boy, who in this weird and often overly-sensitive woke age has become some symbol of all that is good and just, and who will no doubt be the subject of a question at pub trivia night soon.
Yes, I know I'm just buying into all the publicity and blathering myself now, but I've been flat out like a lizard drinking, and unable to sit at my computer. So, here's my take:
Stop calling him a hero. He's not a hero. Saving somebody from drowning, or rushing into a burning building to rescue a trapped person makes you a hero. Smashing an egg on someone's noggin (even if that someone is a soiled sheet of toilet paper like Fraser Anning) does NOT make you a hero. Also, the kid was filming himself. What did he hope to achieve? Social media fame? (Hint: it worked in buckets). I agree that Anning is a loathsome pile of shit, but smashing an egg on someone's head happens to constitute an assault.
Looking at it that way, I actually attribute Anning's initial response to the fight-or-flight instinct we have. He would have had a shock at being assaulted as he was, and lashed out. The continued hitting, and restraining of the kid by his Merry Band of Ruffians was totally not on. I read a lot of learned legal opinion on this, and I'm not going to bother repeating it here. Just look it up yourselves.
But gosh, it all went Bonfire of the Vanities, didn't it? Has-been American actor Dean Cain (from Lois & Clark) said he would have knocked the kid out. Seriously, mate? This is a kid, and it was an EGG.
Yeah, I got over all the publicity very quickly. There was a fund set up for any donations to pay legal bills should the kid have ended up charged, and it's unlikely he will be charged. He has said he'd like to donate those proceeds to the victims of last week's Christchurch massacre, and for that he is to be commended. I applaud you, young man, for trying to help the very people that dickwad Anning vilified in a statement.
Everyone, let's not go smashing eggs on people's heads, okay? And yes, I will admit to having had a chuckle when I saw that googy getting splattered on Anning's dastardly dome.
Now, if anyone is wondering if they're having a bad day, have a read of this. It's why I haven't been at the computer lately, and it might be some steps to help clarify whether your day is turning to horse shit:
1. Get up at five o'clock because you have to head off at six o'clock to start work at SEVEN o'clock in a nearby town.
2. Become stuck in the most horrific traffic you've ever seen in town, bearing in mind you're residing in a country town, and spend half an hour travelling along a stretch of road that normally takes less than five minutes. Wonder has there been a car accident, and find out it's owing to road works that are expected to continue for a few months.
3. Start your shift reeeeeeaaaaaaallllly late because of that traffic, so realise with deep disgruntlement the rest of your day is going go be thrown out of whack.
4. Start driving to a farm you've never visited, and become lost. Realise instead of being an hour behind schedule, you're now an hour-and-a-half behind schedule. Think about alcohol.
5. Get jumped on by an excitable but unfortunately really stinky dog. Wonder will you need a turbo wash to rid your nostrils of the beast's noisome stench.
6. After an exhausting shift, on the drive home, get held up by a coal train. Curse like a sailor who's dropped the anchor on his foot as you wait, and wait, and wait for at the railway crossing for the vehicle to finalise its interminable journey. Seriously, by the time the final carriage has passed, the engine has likely reached the Newcastle port for shipping.
7. Stagger in the house and pour wine.
Oh well, that's me done. Thanks for reading.
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