Last week I posted about the banning of Baby, It's Cold Outside following the loss of shit by a bunch of woke as fuck morons who totally miss the point, and have an abysmal lack of ability to (1) contextualise, and (2) enjoy a work of art for what it is: a work of art. Let me type this slowly for you, you bunch of ignorantly driven dullards: a work of art does not actually need to conform to a societal expectation or moral. Hey, there is stuff out there that personally offends me, too, but guess what? I have free will and opposable thumbs, and these tools enable me to either close the book, walk out of the cinema, turn off the television, leave the museum, or turn off the radio. On a sidenote, I'm wondering are they working to get the poetic works of some rappers banned, too. You know, the ones with songs peppered with references to the female gender as 'hos' and 'bitches'.
Anyway, I was goofing around on You Tube the other day, just playing some choons. Those who know me well know I am something of a music trivia buff, with a particular interest in what was termed the British Invasion of the 1960s. Think Rolling Stones, Herman's Hermits, Manfred Mann, Gerry & The Pacemakers, Dave Clark Five et al. I was listening to a Herman's Hermits number, which I will talk about in greater detail shortly, and it got me thinking: I hope no woke as fuck morons are listening to this, because they'll have it banned on account of what they'd interpret as deprivation of liberty and coercion. Sadly, this is not hyperbole. Anyway, strap yourselves in, gentle reader. Or how does 'buckle up, bitches' sound? Whatever, settle in and check my list of Songs Likely To Be Banned Because There Is An Extraordinary Number Of Cockwombles Out There:
1. Because I've already alluded to it, I pretty much have to list it first, and it's You Won't Be Leaving by Herman's Hermits. Have a listen to it folks. If you're like me, you'll just enjoy the sweet vocalising of the lead singer, a toothy type named Peter Noone who joined the band when still in his teens. If, however, you are riding the Woke Bandwagon (screaming slogans and chucking pamphlets in your wake), you will be bellowing and bawling that this is a predatory rapey type of song. Look, the narrative is clearly a seduction. I want to know: is there something WRONG with a seduction (assuming all the parties are willing participants)? This just in: people like to occasionally fuck. There, I said it. The lyrics include: 'Never know just why it was/You really came to see me'. This is open to interpretation as victim blaming at its finest. You know, the 'What did she expect by going there?' type of stuff. Hey, I find victim blaming offensive, too. But let's not worry about what is only a song. Yeah, I know to date (to my knowledge) there has been no call to get this whimsical ditty banned, but I wouldn't be surprised if it happened, given the current atmosphere. It's a shame people can't just enjoy things for what they are, like this song, which happens to be an example of the zeitgeist when it was recorded by a group of talented guys playing instruments, who happened to be able to sing and blend their voices charmingly.
2. Can't Get Enough by Bad Company. The problem people will have with this is the opening line: 'Well I take whatever I want/And baby I want you...'. This will have the triggered tragics up in arms because it just reeks of entitlement, and the patriarchy's perceived right to a woman's body. Not only does Paul Rodgers sing that, the next verse has him seductively singing, 'Well it's late, and I want love...'. According to the militant Let's-Ban-It-All snotheads, this is also an example of entitlement. You know, 'I want sex, so gimme.' Again, I've not heard calls for this song to be banned, but I wouldn't be surprised if it turned to be the case. Now, here's the thing: Paul Rodgers is the vocalist for Bad Company, and would you care to know something interesting? He's a fucking brilliant singer. He's probably one of the best rock vocalists ever. Mr Bingells and I had the privilege of seeing him perform, with contempories such as Roger Daltry and Alice Cooper, many years ago (before we conceived our oldest child) in what was called The Rock Symphony. He performed Can't Get Enough, and All Right Now (from his time as lead singer with Free). He was mesmerising. Stage presence all over the place, charisma in droves, and still able to hold a tune like a mother cradling a newborn infant. He didn't come on for the finale because, as the compere advised, he was suffering from flu. We had no idea, such is the talent of the man. You know what else? If Paul Rodgers sang those lyrics to me, he'd have me. Strewth, if he sang the contents of his shopping list to me, he'd have me.
3. Centerfold by J Geils Band. It surprises me greatly nobody's bitching about this. I seriously abhor the song because the narrator is one of those piss-elegant milquetoasts with a Madonna/Whore complex. I'm not going into great detail about the many reasons this song annoys me because I've said it all before, but you know something? I'm not calling for it to be banned, because as I've mentioned before in this post, I have free will and opposable thumbs, so can stop myself being subjected to a work of art which offends me.
Yes, I can take steps to prevent myself listening or viewing stuff that gets up my nose, so try it some time, all you social justice warriors; you might find yourself in for a pleasant surprise.
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