Friday, 5 October 2018

My F**k You Messages For Today

If I was asked to compile a list of things about which I am totally incapable of giving a shit, well, they'd be largely sport related, along with a few Instagram influencers thrown in for good measure. That list includes horse racing. It doesn't interest me in the slightest. I don't even bother going to my local track because the ladies' loo is home to big, horrible, green frogs. I know this because I did attend a meet a few years ago, and ended up having to hobble around with my legs plaited because no way on God's green earth was I going to sit on that toilet seat after I'd flipped up the lid and seen that horrible, bug-eyed, green face peering up from the murky depths of the dunny.  Fortunately, the friend I was with had trainer's credentials, and I was able to get into the Members' Bar and use their facilities, and avoided wetting myself (just narrowly).

Anyway, even now I'm more inclined to avoid racing more than ever, and it's owing to the gloating (yeah, I know I gloated in my last post, but it was about a person who has personally done me much malign) of Racing NSW over the most repugnant interview I have heard in a long time. I don't listen to Alan Jones. I'd prefer to spend my time being fisted by a stevedore wearing studded boxing gloves than listen to Alan Jones. This interview took place between Jones, Opera House boss Louise Herron, and Racing NSW CEO Peter V'Landys. Racing NSW wanted some lighting on the sails of the Opera House to advertise the Everest race. No matter how Racing NSW dressed it up or put on the spin, it's an advertisement, and not a work of art, which is often used to great effect in light shows on the Opera House. Ms Herron pointed out in the interview that the Opera House is not a billboard.

Well, didn't the Parrot just take great umbrage at this? He huffed and puffed like an overblown toxic Toad of Toad Hall, or like a spoiled little brat who's had its toy taken away. He demanded to know who Ms Herron thinks she is because she doesn't own the Opera House. Seriously, Jones, do you operate from a studio in a radio station, or a sandpit in a playground? Grow the fuck up, why don't you? He acted like a vicious, vitriolic, overbearing, perverse poltroon (oh, wait; he IS!) and threatened to ring Premier Berejiklian over this.  Jones, Ms Herron was too much of a lady to tell you to go fuck yourself, but it's really what you should consider doing.  He told Ms Herron she should be sacked. This from a dude who's just been successfully sued for defamation from a family he slandered over the safety of their walls in the 2010 flood in Queensland. And it's not the only time he's been successfully sued for slander, I might add.

And guess what happened next into this total clusterfuck of events? Berras has ordered the Opera House to comply with the submission tendered by Racing NSW!  What the actual fuck?!!!! Who's running the State? Nobody voted for Alan Jones to run the State; it was the Liberal party who were voted in. Not by me; I wouldn't vote those fools in, and I wouldn't vote Gladys Berejiklian to the position of town shit-carter, especially after this.

I'm guessing Jones has some vested interest in the racing industry, aren't you? Also, if he has THAT much sway with the government, maybe he can get onto Berras about getting some of the needed English text books into the schools.  Might tweet the shitheap and ask him...

What Racing NSW has tendered to be shown on that magnificent Sydney land mark is tacky beyond measure. We are talking a level of tackiness on the same level as safari suits, toupees, flying ducks on the walls, garden gnomes, and sauterne-with-roast-beef.  Old Berras caving into that mouth-running pissant Jones has nauseated me to a degree I have not felt in years - even when I copped a tummy bug in India.

Fuck you, Berras and Jones. What an unholy union you make.

While we're on the topic of grots to whom Fucks Yous are to be directed, I will make mention of Channel 9 in their coverage of the little conjoined twins from Bhutan who are in Melbourne awaiting surgery to facilitate their separation. The headline from Channel 9 went along the lines 'Taxpayers to foot the bill for surgery...'.  This had me shaking my head in despair at its utter disgracefulness. So what? These are CHILDREN, and this is life-saving surgery.  Were I a Victorian, I'd be more than happy for my taxes to assist. I was incredibly angry about this headline, designed purely to whip up xenophobia and populism. Fuck you too, Channel 9. Whoever devised, and whoever sanctioned that headline: you suck and should eat a bag of dicks.

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