Bad Songs of 1983

I drive a Nissan Navara. What do YOU drive? It's probably not that DeLorean from Back to the Future, but just say it WAS the DeLorean from Back to the Future, where would you travel? If you're thinking of driving to 1983, you probably shouldn't.  This is why:

1. Reckless by Australian Crawl. For a wordsmith, I am unable to conjure up the sentence that would adequately and honestly describe by utter loathing and detestation of this stultifying pile of steaming shit balls trying to pass itself off as a song. I rather like Australian Crawl, and can remember many a happy afternoon at the house of a friend who was a great fan of the band, listening to Sons of Beaches and The Boys Light Up, the album covers leaning against the stereo speaker. But Reckless just sucks. It is a tedious, atonal, discordant blend of blah. When he was in about Year 6, my oldest came home and asked was I familiar with Australian Crawl. I told him of course I was, and asked him the motivation of the question. He told me his class was performing Reckless for music class. He further told me he thought the song awful. I agreed, and directed him to You Tube, where we checked out some Australian Crawl numbers far more palatable to the ear (pretty much any other Aussie Crawl song is more palatable to the ear than that droning dross). I could not understand why anyone would use this as an example of a band's music, should that anyone actually want the children to listen. It would be like saying to someone, 'You want to hear some Beatles? They're great!  Here, listen to this!', and then bunging on Yellow Submarine.   But yeah, Reckless pretty much gobbles up shit. That chorus with the wailing 'Don't be so reck-leeeeeeessssssssss...' sounds like a crow going over a cliff.

2. Save Your Love by Renee and Renato. The Seventies gave us Ernie Sigley and Denise Drysdale covering Hey, Paula, which was pretty cheesy, but not too bad. The Eighties gave us Save Your Love, which is cheesy enough to send your cholesterol levels skyrocketing and constipate you for a month.  I quite like me a bit of Italian tenor style singing, and Renato does have a lovely voice, but this song is just so flowery, I end up stuffing my ears with antihistamines after a listen.

3. Bop Girl by Pat Wilson. Okay, we all know I think this sounds like a mosquito in the dark, but it really is the most jejune inanity to come wafting from the speaker of my old Sanyo radio/cassette player.

4. Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler. Overblown bombastic grandiloquence delivered through sandpaper, that doesn't so much tell you to 'turn around', but beats you into submission. I remember this song coming on the radio, and one of my contemporaries exclaiming, 'This song is magnificent!' I looked at the rapt faces of my school friends with utter puzzlement and bewilderment, wondering was I just missing the point.

Well, that's it for today. Thanks for calling by.