Tonight I was reading a forum of words and phrases people hate. If you are wondering, here are some of mine:
1. 'Irregardless'. What the actual fuck. Seriously, what the actual fuck. Okay, let me give you a lesson, if not in etymology, then in plain English: Nincompoops say this word like they would 'irrespective', or 'notwithstanding'. Now here's the problem:'irregardless' as a word just does not exist. It does not. It is a unicorn, the mythical fairy creature of words. Look at the word. Its base word is 'regard'. There is a suffix '-less' added thereto, which will make the word 'regardless'. 'Regardless' is a word, and as the suffix suggests, means having no regard to the topic or theme to which it has been applied. To add the prefix 'ir' totally negates the meaning of the word 'regardless' - ahem! regardless - of the fact 'irregardless' is not even a word. Therefore, those of you who say it should cease and desist immediately.
2. 'Would of'. This is my pet peeve. You should be saying 'would have', or 'would've'. Not 'would of'. NEVER 'would of'. If I was running the country I would enact legislation that would see perpetrators of this nonsense led to a public place, locked in stocks, and pelted with rotting vegetable matter.
3. 'What?' instead of 'I beg your pardon?' I don't mind 'What did you say?', but plain 'what' is just pig rude. I'm not entirely tyrannical on this; if someone has been given horrifying news and gasps 'What?' in shock, that is totally understandable. But if we are having a normal discussion, or if I make a comment in totally normal conditions which is unheard or misunderstood, and you say 'What?', don't expect me to repeat myself. I will not. Over the years I have told various work colleagues I do not respond to 'What?', and I now tell my children the same. This utter loathing for the misuse of this pronoun cum determiner cum adverb is genetic: my father hated it, also. He once told me, in tones seeped in annoyance, that people saying 'What?' sounded like a snappy old dog barking. By the way, don't try and be funny by saying, 'What?' if I ever mention how I hate people doing that. It's an old, hackneyed joke. And like many old, hackneyed jokes is truly unfunny.
4. 'Fillum' instead of film. Listen, those of you who do this: the 'lm' at the end of 'film' form a diphthong, not a syllable. If you persist in this heinous mispronunciation, I will - fairly or unfairly - consider you an uncultured swine.
5. 'UnAustralian'. I've mentioned this annoying-at-best-and-infuriating-at-worst knob-end of a word before. Like the abhorrent aforementioned 'irregardless', it also makes me snarl: 'What the actual fuck?' I totally detest it as a word, and I detest the manner in which it is used - usually by some poor loser or misery-guts politician (I've heard Peter Dutton use it) who disagrees with a point of view. Why would you say something is 'unAustralian'? What does that idiotic word even mean? If someone has a point of view, or carries out an activity that goes against mainstream accepted practice here, someone implies they are in some way unpatriotic, leaning towards treasonous. It's a bog-standard lazy word, and is plumbing the same depths as the old word 'yuppy' for pointless narky insults. Stop using it, people. It makes you looks like a jingoistic deadshit with no argument of substance.
Will no doubt have another list prepared soon, but for now, I bit you adieu.
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