Wednesday, 3 January 2018

Bukkake'd By Twisties! And Some Somnolent Songs

Been having a bit of a chuckle tonight.  Lord knows I need a chuckle.  I've received an electricity bill so high I might need to enlist the services of a Sherpa to scale it. Not only that, we appear to have two petulant brain dead twits engaged in a pissing contest.  That loathsome fool in the White House, you know, the one who looks like he's been bukakke'd by a packet of Twisties, has actually tweeted:

North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un just stated that the “Nuclear Button is on his desk at all times.” Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!

Why don't they just compare dicks already?  Wow, what a time to be alive.

Anyway, to keep my mind off the vicissitudes of life, I have been chuckling at my Facebook group who are tonight sharing songs they absolutely cannot bear.  It's interesting to see what really annoys other people, music wise.   I of course posted the putrescent song  'Float On', by The Floaters; an aptly named band given that song is really a musical manifestation of a turd bobbing about in a toilet bowl.  Have a listen to it, people.  It's the audio equivalent of being hit on by a bloke with a bad toupee, bling, and an unbuttoned shirt over a beer gut exposing a growth of chest hair that looks like coconut matting. 



There seems to be an commonality in the songs posted by my group: they are turgid, boring, pointless, soporific, and somnolent. Here are some examples, and I defy you to tell me I'm wrong:



1. 'True Blue' by John Williamson.  As well as the abovementioned qualities, this is jingoistic, atonal, gangrenous dung.

2. 'Seasons In The Sun' by Terry Jacks.  I apologise for the earworm that is going to burrow through to your brain until you are bashing your head in with a hammer to get some relief.

3. 'In The Air Tonight' by Phil Collins.  Boring and turgid bloat.

4. 'Mull of Kintyre' by Wings.  Yeah, I know it went to Number 1 here.  I still think it's as boring as fuck.

5. 'I Was Only 19' by Redgum.  It's probably politically incorrect to dislike this song, but I just think it ticks the above boxes.  Besides, I didn't post it, so I am not alone in this view.

6. 'Throw Your Arms Around Me' by Hunters & Collectors.  Yeah, another rather atonal offering.

7. 'Honey' by Bobby Goldsboro.  Its properties are consistent with those listed above, but this also has proven to be a strong emetic. 

So yes, I have been having a chuckle.  And in some cases, trying not to have a chuck.  If anyone knows of any other somnolent, soporific songs I'd be curious to hear your views, if not the songs themselves.

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