Has anybody else ever turned up to an event wearing the same outfit as somebody else? It's never happened to me, and I don't know anyone else to whom this has happened. For a woman, it's supposed to be considered some kind of great social death and embarrassment. I'm thinking about this because Princess Mary of Denmark turned up to some fashion awards in Copenhagen, and another attendee was wearing the same dress. Of course the press are fawning about how they laughed it off. I'd be thinking: Who gives a fuck? Whilst not a sartorially blessed type myself, I do remember one piece of advice - you're supposed to be the great looking girl in the dress, not the girl in the great looking dress. But herein lies the fundamental problem. This was not a great looking dress. My first reaction upon seeing a picture of the two women together was not that they looked the same, but, 'So THAT'S what happened to the fabric Mum had to cover the dining chairs with when I was a kid in the Seventies. I have wondered about that often.'
Truly, that dress is one of the most hideous garments ever, second only to the mid-Nineties baby doll style dress with its billowing sack silhouette that flattered nobody, including baby dolls. It looks like paisley brown, and is silk. Come on, people. As I've mentioned, I'm not a fashionista but really, not many can wear shiny fabric with any hint of brown like that. Our Aussie glam band Hush did back in 1975, and it takes some special je ne sais quoi to do this. It should be noted that along with an ability to carry off brown satin, Hush also featured two Asian-Australians, which was very uncommon so it could be described as brave and ground-breaking.
Redheads too can wear brown, and even some shiny fabrics, but this dress was so blood chillingly hideous with its swirly brown everywhere, and it just screamed Seventies Kitsch. It reminded me of this old fondue set my mother-in-law owned, which my husband appropriated because we love to cook in different styles. Looking at the princess and the other attendee in those monstrous outfits, all I could think was old episodes of 'Number 96', or 'Matlock Police'. I was wondering were the wait staff passing around cheddar-cubes-and-cocktail-onion combos on toothpicks. Perhaps there was a tray of devon meat slices, all rolled up with mashed potato filling. The record player might have had a subtle decibel level of Santana . Perhaps there was a bowl full of car keys.
My previous post told of dumb-arses I have met of late. Yesterday there was another to add to the list. I was in a local clothing store - not a boutique just a franchise in the vein of the old Fosseys. I had to buy my son some flesh coloured underwear for his outfit in his upcoming dance concert. I made my way to the check out, to what I thought was the queue. Well, when there someone stands in the aisle at the point nearest the check out it usually indicates the commencement of the queue. I stood behind a woman. 'Next, please!' called the till operator. The woman in front of me, resplendent in active wear that made her look as though she had been shoplifting in the cushion department of this store, remained oblivious. 'Next, please!' called the till operator, again. I wondered had the woman been encaged by some invisible yet impenetrable force field that rendered her impervious to any sound (such as that of a check out operator calling). I craned my neck a little, and saw the damn woman was looking at Facebook on her phone! 'Next, please!' called the operator, a little more loudly this time. I rolled my eyes, squeeeeeeezed past the woman and slammed my son's flesh coloured underpants on the counter for payment. My challenge to the laws of physics in passing this woman caused her to stir from her reverie. 'Duh, sorry,' she said in this really dull, slow fashion that made me think of Brain from 'Top Cat'.
Yes, it's Hallowe'en. Yes, people are posting pictures of costumes. Yes, everyone's complaining and losing their shit over perceived racism or cultural appropriation. Some coloured guys have white-faced and said they are going as 'White Privilege'. I actually think this is rather funny. It's hardly racist. And if it was, I don't really care all that much. Everybody who is celebrating, wear whatever the hell you want, have fun, and don't act like a dick.
No comments:
Post a Comment