I know I have set myself a task of compiling a list of inspirational songs to enable myself, and others, to rise above hurt. I have had a lot of fun compiling a list of 'fuck-you' toned ditties, all of which are dedicated to a certain group of people, led by a screeching miserable harpy, who have caused me hurt lately. But for some reason, that list has not yet been completed. I'm blaming it on the general vicissitudes of life. As the great Lennon said: life is what happens when you're making other plans. Because I haven't prepared that list yet, I will set out hereunder the list of what I put on my iPod the other night. You might find them inspirational. You might decide to include some of these numbers in your playlist. You might stop and think, 'Shit, Simone has rancid taste in music' (if you think that, YOU'RE the one with rancid taste and you should reconsider any decision to breed). But for your amusement, here they are:
1. 'Modern Girl' by James Freud and the Radio Stars. I like it. I've always liked it. Of course, I get a bit sad listening to it sometimes because we lost James under tragic circumstances. Maybe it's just that it makes me feel fourteen again. Not that fourteen was a wonderful time. The fourteen-year-old Bingells had pimples on her chin, and was an awkward twerp who would use glow putty to spell out the letters of the name of the boy she liked and stick them to her bedroom mirror, hoping it would have some talismanic effect and the boy would notice her. He didn't.
2. 'Hungry Heart' by Bruce Springsteen. I suppose these days some would consider it a politically incorrect song because it's from the point of view of some responsibility-shirking bum who pissed off from his family. But I like it, too.
3. 'The Globe' by Big Audio Dynamite. I wish to assure my readership that musically I did evolve beyond the Seventies and some Eighties, even going so far as to venture to the early Nineties.
4. 'Mr Brightside' by The Killers. In a bold move, as intrepid as the explorations of Dr Livingstone, I meandered my way into the Two Thousands. It's crazy, and I like it. Usually. Still find lots of shite on my travels.
What will NOT be going on my iPod: 'Africa' by Toto. I heard it when driving home from a takeaway shop today, where I had purchased a burger to treat a friend who is helping us assemble those damnable flat pack wardrobes the insurance company has sprung for, following the equally damnable flood on Christmas Eve, 2016. And like I always do when I hear it on my car radio, I thought: uurrrrk! Yeah, I know, sublime harmonies and all that. But the song is so, so farty. And my eyes roll like a row of cherries on a poker machine every time I hear that lyric 'as sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti....'. Great, dudes, you're not too bad on geography, but I'm wondering why the inclusion of a Greek mountain in your African geographical imagery. Still, I guess 'Olympus' scans well musically, and it's after all a song, and not a geography essay. Whatever - it's not going on my iPod any time soon.
My 12yo has been asking me to put 'Rasputin' on my iPod. I'm really torn about this. I think, as a rule, the music of Boney M totally fellates festered donkey dicks. 'Rasputin' I can kind of cope with, but I'd hate it to come up on shuffle whenever we have company. It would be more embarrassing than having the dog run through the house with a pair of your dirty underpants in its mouth. And poor old Raspers - it's not bad enough to be poisoned, stabbed, and shot by disgruntled Russian aristocracy; he's been made the subject of a Boney M song. The indignity is worse than anything those Russians could have inflicted upon him. And that line at the end: 'Oh, those Russians'. Teeth-on-edge material.
That's all for now - I'd best compile that list I'm thinking of.
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