Dear Australian Summer, just a brief note. You've had your fun, now how about you piss right off? It's about 41 degrees Celsius here and I am liking it not at all. It makes me fractious, and Christ knows I've been foul tempered enough of late because of you know, shitty flood and all. Probably another gift of the Australian Summer - that fucked up weather pattern that blew chunks all over this fair town.
Who, like me, thinks the rumour about PEOTUS engaging in urologic practices with Russian hookers is quite likely just that: a rumour? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but who else, like me, thinks it's totally hee-LAIR-ious? To be honest, if it's true, I don't care if Trump likes getting pissed on. It's probably an extension of his usual habit of pissing down people's legs and telling them it's raining. It would certainly explain that jaundiced looking complexion of his. Putin must have had the ladies guzzling Beroccas by the gallon to get that citric tone in Trump's skin. The presidential inauguration will no doubt be quite the rage, a real - ahem! - piss-up. The responsibilities of his new role don't frighten him because he is confident it will be a piece of piss. He's having trouble getting anybody to perform at the swearing in, but I've heard the old Pommy act Christie will reform and play their hit, 'Yellow River'. Cold Play might be on the bill, too; they're singing 'Yellow'. Doc Neeson is no longer with us, but I'm sure the Brewster Brothers will happily take to the stage and belt out, 'Looks like it's comin' down on me....'. Oh, the fun the Twitterati have been having in light of these revelations. Not that a fetish between consenting adults should be shamed, or anything like that. Oh no. It's just such fun taking the piss out of Trump (and having typed that, I've just realized I've made another pun - completely unintentional this time).
When I go to work, I wear a work polo - usually one of the green ones. Other colleagues wear similar. Big woop. When I go out, if there is a woman in a similar top, it fazes me not because I have the confidence to know that other people don't really care. See where I'm going with this? You've quite likely seen footage taken of Channel 9 presenter Amber Sherlock having a bit of an off-air shitfit because she, a fellow female presenter, and a guest are all wearing white tops. La Sherlock was getting her flaps twisted because she had issued some edict that the other presenter should be in a jacket because apparently the universe would implode if they went to air in similarly coloured shirts. How bloody vacuous and lacking in substance to believe this actually matters! And fancy carrying on like a prima donna over it. I accept that anyone can have a bad day at work and not be amiable to their colleagues. But seriously, over a shirt? Who fucking cares! I don't care if news presenters wear similar colours because I'm more interested in this funny little thing called THE NEWS! I wonder who leaked the footage. I'm guessing someone to whom Sherlock might have behaved obnoxiously in the past.
Well, I must be on my way to purchase some dinner. After I finish my evening medication run, I am on leave for a few weeks. Oh, hurray!!!!
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