Friday, 23 December 2016

My Christmas Message - It has Beetles and Popcorn

The 2016 Christmas season is thus far proving to be rather enjoyable, although today is a tad sultry with the heat.  But it's Australia, I can expect nothing less and still remember my childhood Christmas Eves spent sitting out on my parents' patio, cracking open walnuts and hazelnuts from the Christmas hamper my father's employers (owners of a large sheep station) provided every year.  The hamper usually had nuts, Christmas cake, oranges (go figure), and novelty stockings stuffed with lollies.  Those lollies included sugar popcorn.  This was the only time of year I ate that fluoro shit, which contains food dyes that I'm certain are corrosive and cause one's stools to glow in the dark like swamp phosphorus.  I suspect the same ingredients are used to treat the popcorn as those used in Fruit Loops - a bag of sugar masquerading as breakfast cereal, and one I refuse to stock in my pantry.  But yes, many a Christmas Eve and Christmas Night would be spent outside, cracking nuts and looking at the Christmas beetles with their pretty, bauble-like carapaces. 

My kids no longer believe in Santa Claus, which makes Christmas a little less stressful money-wise for me.  We are no longer expected to leave food out, and pig it later.  Those of you who know me would be aware of my one time as a child when I decided to leave a snack for the Jolly Bloke in Red.  I got all creative and bit the corners off a Sao cracker to give a skull shape, and then squashed some apricots on it to represent eye sockets.  I don't know if my parents were alarmed at what some might have interpreted as a streak of morbidity in me.  I do know Santa didn't eat my well-considered creation, and I was very disillusioned.  Even more disillusioned than the time he was at the local supermarket with a shopping trolley stuffed with small white paper sacks of lollies, and he ran over my foot with the trolley. My father's dog enjoyed the Sao-and-apricot snack, in any event.  But go the skulls.  Most writers have different little knick-knacks on their desks, such as a paperweight, or maybe a good luck mascot.  I have a row of glass skulls.

I have been playing my Chrissie faves, which are 'Rockin' Christmas' by Ol' 55, and 'Merry Christmas' by Slade.

So, this cursed year of 2016 is almost over.  So many deaths.  Today I thought there was going to be another one - Carrie Fisher aka Princess Leia.  I was most envious of the bilateral-bunned babe, because she got to make out with Luke Skywalker, a little.  Then she found out Luke was her brother, and I sat there listening for banjo music.  Hang in there, Princess aka Carrie.  Speaking of all things Star Wars, I am wondering whether to see the newest film or not.  I haven't seen the others because, you know, Jar Jar Binks.

Well, Merry Christmas.  It's probably a bit late to suggest you give the gift of books, *cough* mine *cough*, this year.  But there is always the belated gift option.  Check out the links on my blog to the first chapters, and see if you'd like to purchase them.  They're available as both e-book or paperback.  Speaking of book, I had better have a quick read of the edited manuscript sent to me by my publisher, before I go back to work.  I've got the evening medication run tonight.  And I'm working on Boxing Day.

Again, Merry Christmas!

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