Saturday, 10 December 2016

Belated Karmic Retribution, Uploading To You Tube, & Disco Ducks

Here is a little list of what I've learned lately:

1. Karmic retribution happens when you least expect it. It's like a cosmic universal Candid Camera thing.  I went for a swim with my twelve-year-old son in the local indoor pool today.  It was very enjoyable once I got over my almost insurmountable wussiness and got ALL wet, not just up to my chest.  I did half an hour of laps and thought myself most virtuous.  My son spotted a family playing some kind of pool ping pong - waterproof bats and a small ball - and asked could he play along.  They graciously handed him the equipment, and he asked me would I play a game.  In the interest of mother/son bonding, I agreed.  As I've mentioned in the past, I am utter shit at anything involving a ball and implement with which to whack said ball, and an aquatic setting does in no way improve my woeful playing ability.  Eventually my son lobbed a beauty, which bounced off my cranium, and actually bloody hurt!  'Sorry, Mum!' called my son, his chortles giving away the fact that he was not sorry in the least.   I rubbed my head, and thought about a Boxing Day morning some thirty-nine years ago, when I was given Tether Tennis for Christmas.  Anyone remember that?  A plastic pink ball tied to a pole, and the players hit said ball with blue plastic paddles.  It was fun.  Well, I was playing with my cousin this Boxing Day morning.  By some fluke, I actually managed to hit the ball, and I hit it so hard the string came untethered from the pole's pinnacle, and the pink ball when zoooooming through air currents on the trajectory set by the laws of ballistics, and bounced hard off my cousin's cranium.  Although it had not been my intention to inflict this pain on my cousin, I did think it looked funny, and had a secret snigger.  He stormed off to tell on me, and I then had to wait for one of the grown-ups, be it my mother or my uncle, to come storming to the top of the back steps and gruffly demand what was going on out there.  So Karma has finally had her way with me for braining, and then sniggering at, my cousin that Boxing Day morning.  And Cuzzie, if you're reading this, sorry for laughing but it did look funny.  And my son, one day you are going to cop a plastic round projectile to the top of your head which will hurt, and the perpetrator will laugh, but that perpetrator will have a similar fate in due course, and plastic balls will bounce from perpetrators' heads like a series of never-ending Russian dolls, as the laws of Karma deem fit.

2. It takes forever to upload four minutes of footage to You Tube.  Maybe because it was on my computer, having been put there from my husband's camera.  I've filmed footage on my iPod at a concert - just a snippet of a song - and put that on You Tube before sharing on Facebook - which took only a few minutes.  Anyway, last Friday night Mr Bingells, our water ping pong playing son, and myself went to the local Worker's Club to redeem a voucher I won at trivia last week on the Who Am I question (the answer was Weary Dunlop).  We enjoyed very succulent salt-and-pepper calamari, and I redeemed some raffle tickets I had also won.  This is making me wonder what the hell has happened to me.  I used to drink on the beach across from Selinas waiting for the Hoodoo Gurus to come on.  Now I'm going to raffles at clubs.  I guess I grew old and had kids.  I also won a meat tray on the raffles.  Go me.  I will probably go back there next Friday night because I've won another voucher on the Who Am I (the answer this time being Hugh Laurie).  But back to the point.  We got home to where our fifteen-year-old and his mate were playing the x-box again, which I daresay would have been a cover for looking at cyber porn whilst they had the house to themselves.  I decided to put the footage Mr Bingells took on You Tube.  I actually worked out how to do this.  Then 'it' said the approximate time would be one hour and 47 minutes.  It had to be shitting me, I thought.  There was the option to encode to a different type of format, but I figured being a non-tech Luddite I had best stick to the path I was on, and in the meantime could utilise my time constructively by learning another language, or driving to Sydney and back.  But here is a link to the footage, which is my twelve-year-old performing to 'No' by Megan Trainor in his school talent quest last week: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_80-6rRUHdw

3. The song 'Disco Duck' by Rick Dees and his Cast of Idiots is still pretty stupid.  I found a link to it because my Facebook group is having an ornithological theme today so far as the songs go.  The good ones like 'Freebird' and 'Wings of an Eagle' are gone.  Someone's already posted 'Old Man Emu', so the only turd I had left (and I had to pick from turds) was 'Disco Duck'.  The clip I posted has people in disco gear seriously dancing a choreographed routine to this.  How did they do this and not revolt?  'Flapping my arms I began to cluck/Look at me: I'm the Disco Duh-uh-uh-uh-uhck!'   I called my nimble-footed son over and asked would he like to learn the routine the dancers were performing.  He had been previously shown footage of 'that' dance from 'Napoleon Dynamite' and drooled like Homer Simpson, and has vowed to perform that in the next school talent quest.  But not 'Disco Duck'.  His eyes widened.  His mouth twisted into a moue of utter distaste. He clearly believed this to be the stupidest thing he had ever viewed, and he is from the generation that believed 'Gangnam Style' to be pinnacle of great music.  He asked that he be excused from every viewing that again.

It is that time again.  I must feed my dogs.  They are eyeing me with patience, but that patience will not last.  Thank you for reading.  Drop me a comment.  Also, check out the links and purchase my books.  Someone did, and brought them along to a school band performance for me to autograph last Thursday.  I guess I'm posting about my kids a lot lately, but it's the end of the school year, and there are so many concerts and things they're involved with. 

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