I. Am. FREEZING! I am NOT happy to be FREEZING! I am not overly fond of being rugged up to the nth power, beanie on my head and all. My house would make an igloo feel like a sauna. My house is a shambolic mess because Mr Bingells has been (with the assistance of some handyman friends) redoing our bathroom. It's going to look fine, but at the moment there are power tools on the floor of the dining room, and mess that normally goes in the bathroom all over the dining table.
It will be a great relief when the Federal election is finally over, although neither party has much to offer. We will be stuck with either Malcolm Turnbullshit, or Bull Shitten (credit to my friend Mark, and that's an hysterically funny name for him), and my money (but not my vote) is on Turnbullshit. My vote is not on Bull Shitten, either. Some of my readership would probably know I am a paid up member of the Australian Sex Party. We have a fantastic campaign ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCDGMbPqNb4
Check it out - it's a bloody beaut parody. Campaign ads from other parties seem to be about attacking the opposing party, rather than presenting the policy. The Nationals ad that had Tony Windsor bitching and beefing, I thought, was actually rather clever. It's two women in a coffee shop, and one looks at her phone and says, 'Tony wants me back.' Well, Tony is not impressed because he says it implies he is a philanderer who has cheated on his wife. Tone, Tone, Tone: this ad is what is commonly known as a 'metaphor'. Look it up. Your assertion is really going out on a limb. Very, very far on a limb. So far in fact that you are out on the very tip of it, and the limb is bending down to the ground where your weight is either going to cause the branch to snap just near the trunk, or else it is going to catapult you off into the stratosphere, kind of like Wile E Coyote. Nobody with a skerrick of common sense would believe this meant you were cheating on your wife. Christ strike a light, as my father used to say.
Also, people are coming out of the woodwork to say Tony Windsor was a bully at school. If so, this is nothing new. Just look at the revelations about Tony Abbott at uni, allegedly bashing the wall beside the head of a woman rival to whom he had just lost in some minor election or other. Was the contest to see who could be the biggest tool? If so, then you're right, Tony; you wuz robbed! Sick of these grubby tactics. I'm just waiting to hear the shocking scandalous revelations about how Barnaby Joyce snuck up behind one of the little kids and cupcaked him. Someone with whom Pauline Hanson attended school is going to do a shocking ex-pose-zay to New Idea about how Pauline stuffed the greaseproof wrappers from her Vegemite sandwich into the drainpipe on the wall of the Year 3 Classroom. Turnbullshit probably scooped the eyes from the frog that was being dissected in Biology and put it on someone's sandwich.
Not planning on running for politics myself straight away, but in the event that I do, let me come clean now: I ate a heap of Milo out of the tin in the Home Science classroom. So sorry, I have sinned-uh! I beg-uh forgiveness! I also hid in the change room during my age race in the swimming carnival. I was instrumental in the gladwrapping of the toilet seat in the admin block at my Year 12 Muck Up Day, and I don't think the cleaning lady has forgiven us for the shock after she used the toilet.
No comments:
Post a Comment