Friday, 20 November 2015

My Varied List

I'm doing the Grand High Executioner, and making a little list.  I'm not doing a Santa Claus and checking it twice, because I'm confident with what I am about to say.

1.  Crappy Moment: when I started to type this post and something fucked up, and I had to start it again.  Grrrrr, grrrrr, and again: grrrrrrrr!

2.  Enjoyable Performance In A Movie Today: I attended my local cinema and watched 'The Dressmaker', and I won't be so trite as to say I was blown away by the performances.  They were adequate by some, and very good by others.  What I noticed, or actually DIDN'T notice, was the Australian accent Kate Winslet adopted for her role.  It occurred to me afterward she actually did not sound like she was trying to do an accent, which is a good thing in my view; it sounded natural.  Her character sounded like a well-spoken Aussie, and not some actor desperately affecting some kind of nasally Strine.  Believe it or not, there are some very well spoken Aussies out there, who do not sound like extras from 'Smiley Gets A Gun'.  I am actually one myself. My written prose might suggest otherwise, particularly when I make use of the 'F-word', but in spoken conversation, I am quite articulate and do not swear much at all (my kids dispute this).  It's hard to pinpoint this movie for a genre; I guess it's kind of a bittersweet black comedy.  More creepy than 'Love Serenade', and more black than 'Muriel's Wedding' (the titular character of which annoyed the living snot out of me).

3. Enjoyable Moment In The Cinema Today: The scene where Liam Hemsworth was in his boxer shorts.  Despite the air conditioning, I broke out in a sweat.  My ovaries went into overdrive (or ovary-drive, boom-tish!).  I swear I actually tittered.  Being almost twice this young man's age, I suspect my lustful and lascivious reaction might qualify me as a Dirty (or perhaps Pathetic) Old Woman.  Hang on, doesn't this make me a Cougar?  Yes, cougar will do.  Also, I wear a lot of animal print, so I'm sure this makes me a cougar.

4. Person I'd Like To Slap At The Moment: so-called actress Jenny McCarthy, who played Charlie Sheen's love interest in 'Two And A Half Men' some years ago.  Listen, unless you've been in a vacuum, you're no doubt aware of Sheen's HIV-positive status. Unlike many snarkers I've noticed in the past few days, I do not gloat about this.  I think this is sad, however, with medical know-how these days, Sheen can still live a 'good' life. Anyway, this actress has complained his status was not made known to her, although the actors have to let it be known if they have cold sores in the event of kiss scenes. You imbecile, you cannot transmit HIV by kissing.  Cold sores, yes.  HIV, no.  I remember the great scandal when Rock Hudson was outed as having AIDS, after playing Linda Evans' love interest in 'Dynasty'.  Have people seriously remained so uneducated and ignorant?  She's either so damned stupid she should be forcibly sterilised, or else she's a desperate publicity whore.  She should worry if she was sharing needles or having unprotected sex with Sheen.  Which leads me to this segue: take some responsibility and INSIST on safe sex.  'If it's not on, it's not on.'  'Sex with a condom, or sex with your hand.' 

5. What I'm Wondering: Why, in rural NSW, would someone name their kid Memphis.  I heard a mother address her son thus the other day, and did my usual snobbish mental eye-roll.  I doubt it is a reference to 'abode of good', which I understand to be a loose interpretation of the actual meaning of the word.  I know it is not up to me to judge or dictate how a child shall be dubbed, but it did not stop my mentally rolling my eyes.

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