Who else, like me, is taken back to a night some five years or so ago when Kevin Rudd gave an impassioned speech about his achievements as Prime Minister following a leadership challenge instigated by Julia Buzzard, ooops, Gillard? I remember Rudd very emphatically and eloquently reminded the public it was under his leadership the country had been able to get through the GFC and how he had issued the apology to the Stolen Generation. I sat there thinking he should have used some of that fire throughout most of his tenure as PM, I used to get pissed off with him blathering about 'working families', a phrase I detested greatly. As irritating as I found him at times, I was very saddened for him when he turned to his deputy, a la Julius Ceasar, and whispered, 'Et tu, Jules?', before leaving the office with a Wiltshire handle protruding betwixt his shoulder blades.
Of course so many people were raving about us finally having a female prime minister, a notion not without merit per se, but I was more interested in having a competent leader regardless of gender. I got very over Gillard when she totally screwed up the word 'misogyny', as my regular readers know very well. Then one day she got handed an elixir bottle marked 'Your Own Medicine', and discovered how Rudd felt. I had no sympathy for the woman whatsoever. So many commentators said she was voted out because of our misogynistic culture. I just sat despairing and wishing to high heaven people would get a frigging dictionary and look up the word 'misogynistic' (starting with Buzzard's speech writer). I would have voted her out on the basis of starting an infuriating trend of misusing that word. Surely the fact people considered her an incompetent fool outweighed any innate aspect of our culture?
But it's happening again. Prime Minister Abbott is facing the same situation. I have shared the Facebook meme stating Gillard has been rushed to hospital suffering an overdose of Schadenfreude. I reckon Rudd's probably tap dancing, and/or has cracked open a bottle of champagne. If you have, Kevin, don't get blotto. Last time you did you ended up in a strip club, and it came back to haunt you when you ran for office. Although I didn't really care if you went to a strip club; it's not like you told lies like your rival Johnny (Children Overboard. Weapons of Mass Destruction) Howard did. Abbott will probably come out and babble, 'I stopped the boats! Don't vote for Malcolm because I stopped the boats!' Shit, he probably says to his wife, 'What do you mean we're out of ice cream, don't you know I stopped the boats?' I wonder will his scare-mongering help him tonight?
I watched the footage of him crapping on about how the Prime Ministership is a gift to the people. I spluttered, 'What the hell sort of gift is THAT?' My 14yo, showing a wisdom that makes me proud I pushed his fat head through my loins, said, 'Yeah, it's the sort of gift that's like getting clothes at Christmas.'
So I guess it's a case of 'In this corner, wearing an insufferable smirk, is Tony Abbott; and in the other corner, wearing an Armani tie, is Malcolm Turnball!' I think this analogy is appropriate, given Abbott's boxing credentials.
A word of advice to the Mad Monk - if you lose your leadership tonight, it would be a good idea to NOT punch the wall near anybody's head, okay?
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