I adjust my horse hair wig, slide the pinc-nez up the bridge of my nose, and hook my thumbs just into the opening of my black robes, and say in a manner hopefully redolent of Rumpole's relaxed and just cheeky enough to stay within realms of respect: 'Your Honour, if it pleases the Court, Bailey for the accused.' Sometimes I do play Devil's advocate, but I'm not sure if I'm doing so just now. Possibly the Devil does have some interest in what I am about to say, I know not. I do know a few things: Number 1: I'm typing this at my library because there's something going on with my computer to do with update installation, and I'm sure there's something wrong, and Mr Bingells is better equipped to work it out than I, but he is at work. Number 2: I appear before the High Court of Social Media to plead for the so-called 37 million users of an adult dating site that has been hacked. The hackers are demanding the site be removed from the Web.
Okay, I shall now face the jurors, who appear to be everybody commenting on every single thread I have read about this hacking, and threats of exposure of site's members. I'm sure you all know what I'm speaking about. This site encourages people to have affairs. Ergo, in the minds of hackers and just about every commenter I have seen, the site is wicked, and depraved, and shouldn't be allowed to run, and steals small children from the cradles and replaces them with evil little changelings. I would guess around 97% of the comments are in favour of the hackers. This is my guess, as I said; my maths sucks. There are repeated cries of 'Remove the site!' 'It shouldn't be allowed to advertise on television!' 'Do the crime, do the time!' 'Serves the cheating scumbags right!'
Now all this is doing my head in, so I am taking it upon myself to write in a methaphorical manner, to wit a courtroom, about WHY this is pissing me off. Let me address the argument 'Do the crime; do the time'. Now, in theory, that is now without merit. I am still to check the penalty for cyber-hacking. Yeah, THAT'S the crime here. Seeking out, or engaging in, sex with another consenting adult is NOT illegal. Hacking is.
As for the argument the site shouldn't be allowed to operate, well, I'm now sure of the Latin for this, so I don't sound quite like a barrister, but the English translation is: "Who the fuck are you to say the site cannot operate?" Maybe the Latin goes something like "Tu Coitus Vox Situ Non Operandi". But yeah, if it's done all it has to do to function as a business, then leave it alone. The thing is; cheaters are going cheat. Cheating has been around for as long as people have been fucking, and this far pre-dates the Internet. The site no doubt employs people, and derives income. You might not approve of the manner in which they earn their income, but if it is via legal means, then butt the fuck out, or as my pig-Latin indicates: "gluteus coitus exodus".
People seek out these sites for sexual gratification. But we do not know what is going on in their home lives to make them wish to seek a bit of extra. It is NOT OUR BUSINESS if someone chooses to seek a bit of extra. I often say people must shop at their local camping store all the time for the crampons, rope and pick axes to get to their high moral ground.
Do I approve of people cheating? In principle, no. The reality is, it happens, and the sex lives of 37 million other people, most of whom I'm confident I would know from a bar of soap, is not my business. Another thing people don't seem to consider is the reactions of the cuckolded spouses. Could the public humiliation drive them to self harm, or harm their children first?
And something else that sets my teeth on edge, and flares my nostrils is the ARROGANCE of the hackers. If there was ever a group for whom the statement 'Get over yourselves' was coined, it's them. So you don't approve of someone engaging in a perfectly legal activity with another adult? Then go on Ebay and bid on a life! Often people who are overly concerned about the sex lives of other people have none of their own.
Alcohol can be very damaging to the family unit, but I haven't heard anything about hackers targetting the Australian Hotels Association.
Just cannot abide judgemental people presiding over others' sex lives, and not minding their own damn business.
Also cannot abide that little gherkin in what looked like a green Mazda who came screaming from the T-intersection into my line of drive, and I was on the main road and had right of way, and she didn't even bloody look! I had to hit the brakes before she hit my car. You stupid little moron, where'd you get your licence? A packet of Cornflakes? So sarcastic handclaps to you, she-retard.
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