Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Of Birthdays and Photographs

Today marks the beginning of the final year I will be in my forties.  Yeah, I am forty-nine years old today.  In one year's time I shall turn fifty, and for my birthday I will probably get a colonoscopy because my father's doctor recommend all my family members have one once we reach fifty.  That's some birthday gift.  But today's birthday gifts from each of my cherubic boys was an iTunes card.   So I have two iTunes cards now and shall soon embark on a spree of downloading music to my iPod.  I wish I had known because I purchased a card for myself the other day, and so far I've downloaded 'Funky Town' by Pseudo Echo (yes, I know), and 'Photograph' by Ringo Starr. 

When purchasing 'Photograph' via iTunes, the options appeared, and I was about to depress my stylus pen onto the 'Buy Song' icon, and then - quelle horreur! - realised I was on the brink of purchasing 'Photograph' by Nickelback.  Note to self: wear your reading glasses when making iTunes purchases on iPod.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I don't hate Nickelback.  Don't actively seek them out, but I don't hate them, either.  But their 'Photograph' really, really sets my teeth on edge.  It's an almost textbook example of overblown and pointless wankery set to notes.  The bloke singing is probably trying to sound angsty and poignantly nostalgic, but it sounds like he's crapping a brick. Everything is given some kind of meaningful gravitas, such as Kim, the first girl he kissed (I remember my first kiss, it was pretty awful, and I'm not going to put it in a song).  It takes us on some pointless journey that is like wading through sludge, and after a while my ears feel like they've been fisted by an Irish stevedore wearing knuckledusters. 

Anyway, once I realised what I had been about to do, I reached for my glasses and refined my search, and - viola! - downloaded Ringo's song. I have always liked this song.  I don't know that Ringo was necessarily the greatest singer in the world, but I don't mind him.  Don't like 'Yellow Submarine', but I would have detested that no matter which Beatle sang it.  Come on, people.  You know I'm right on this: 'Yellow Submarine' just plain sucks.  I reckon Ringo pissed off Paul somehow, and this was Paul's revenge: lumbering him with the shittiest song he could think of.  So, whilst I was wiping down the kitchen benches this morning, I had a listen to Ringo singing 'Photograph'.  It always strikes me how he just manages to capture the pangs of constant reminders of a freshly ended relationship. And I found out today the tune was written by George Harrison, and features guitar work by George Harrison.  No wonder I like it.  George is criminally underrated, and I also downloaded some of George's solo stuff onto my favourite toy, my iPod.

Well, I'd better get to work writing now.  I'm on almost the last stretch of what will be my fourth novel.  Excited about this.

Oh, and happy birthday to me.

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