The countdown is on to the opening of the film version of 'Fifty Shades of Grey', and I know I've been banging (no pun intended) on about it, I guess it's been on my mind because it's hard to avoid the articles about it. Look, I will probably end up watching it because I am often on the lookout for blogging material. I'm not paying full price, I'm going to wait for the DVD and watch with a couple of female friends, so we can shriek and cry abuse at the screen without being removed from the cinema by a pimply teenager in a red waistcoat. Who knows, I might just like the movie. No, odds are: I won't. I hated the book with vehemence scary, and the leads in the film look like a wan milquetoast playing against an Easter Island statue wrapped in a Savile Row suit sourced by someone in the wardrobe department. Actually, the bloke's not too hard on the eye, but it must be hard to emote and deliver lines when the dialogue (if it reflects that in the book) just sucks shit. From what I remember of the book, and what I've seen in trailers, the sex scenes are going to have all the eroticism and raunch factor of those in 'Deliverance'.
But something caught my eye today. It's (sigh) another online petition, and it calls for a boycott of the movie on the grounds it glamorises violence against women. Now, I've heard the arguments. 'Oh, no, it's a consensual relationship.' 'Oh, no. the book is shit and in no way reflects a genuine sub and dom relationship'. Whatever. I just think this is a truly facile and pointless argument. I wish people would quit trying to ban works just because they don't like the subject matter. It's as asinine as the argument 'Trainspotting' glamorised heroin abuse. To all those who complained it glamorised heroin abuse, let me ask you this: Did you sit there in the cinema with your eyes shut and your fingers jammed into yours ears? These same people complained 'Pulp Fiction' also glamorised heroin abuse, with the character Vincent Vega jamming a needle into his arm, and then driving along ripped to the gills (but oh man, isn't in an evocative scene and just so artistically brilliant?), and yeah, it did look very effective in 'Pulp Fiction', but let me point something out, and I will type it slowly for those who have a little trouble grasping things: just because a character does something in a movie, does not mean the general public are stupid enough to emulate the behaviour on screen. Take a moment to let that sink in.
For the record, a sex scene I really enjoyed was the one in 'P.S.' starring Laura Linney (give the woman an Oscar, already!), and Topher Grace. It didn't feature violins, from memory. There wasn't an almighty threshing and thrashing of limbs like a spastic washing machine agitator, it was sweet and awkward. Therein lay the realism. They kissed, they fumbled, she asked if he had something, and he said, 'Oh yeah', and got a condom out of his wallet, and at the end he cried, 'That was fucking awesome!' I will defensively point out the cougar crush I have on Topher Grace has in no way influenced my judgement.
Well, I sat down to look at the Australian version of 'I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here' on, I think, Thursday night. Why did I do this? I swear my IQ dropped. I've often believed it's a case of a more appropriate title being 'I'm A Desperate D-Lister Or Has-Been Trying To Stay Relevant, So Don't Vote Me Out PLEASE'!'. I recognised only a few of these, um, participants (I refuse to call them celebrities). One was a Brady, for shit's sake! I watched and face-palmed, as I wailed, 'Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!' with even more angst than her on-screen sister Jan did years ago. One was a bloke who used to play AFL and acted like a fucking thug on the football field. One was a Daddo, and it doesn't matter which one because they're all interchangeable. Most of them were people I have never heard of. But one has perfect hair in this so-called jungle environment. Seriously. Her hair was long, loose, and knot-free. How handy to have hair and make-up people onset for this challenging game. Let me tell you what really hit home to me the show is bullshit (I know you're all thinking, 'Well, duh'). I too have long hair. If I was in a jungle, it would be a frizzy auburn halo (although in fairness this woman's hair might not be as porous as mine). When you have long hair, and you are required to participate in an activity slightly more strenuous than changing television stations, you tie it back otherwise it's in your face and a nuisance.
So that's two things I'm hating on at the moment: reality television, and people who try to tell you to boycott films because they don't like the subject matter.
No comments:
Post a Comment