Slow and Greasy

Slowly, slowly the computer paces itself here at my local library.  It has the vim and vigour of a slug that has overdosed on Mogadon.  And until my internet allowance is readjusted next month, it is at my library I will continue to inflict upon the good folk in cyberspace my rantings and ravings.  People are raving that Taylor Swift is not included in the Triple J Hottest 100.  Um, I don't think she gets much airplay on Triple J.  We're talking about a radio station whose first ever disc spun back around 1974 was the Skyhooks 'You Just Like Me Cos I'm Good In Bed', after all.  Her songs irritate me like a nettle, and last Saturday night I took my youngest son to see a concert performed by local special needs kids and adults.  The closing number was a choreographed piece to 'Shake It Off', and my lad groaned, 'Oh God, let's get out of here!'

The 1978 movie 'Grease' is to be remade.  People are wailing and gnashing the teeth about messing with a classic.  Well, the movie isn't the first incarnation but an adaptation from the stage show in which the Olivia Newton-John character is not an Aussie exchange student, but an American.  Livvy didn't feel she had acting chops sufficient enough to put on an American accent, and rather than cast a competent actress, the studio went for the might dollar and drawcard.  I understand the actress from the movie 'Rock of Ages' is to play Sandy, and Vanessa Hudgens to play Rizzo.  I've no probem with this casting.  Furthermore, I hope the casting continues in this vein, ie, actors who don't look like they're one step from a zimmer frame trying to convince the audience they are horny 17yos.  I do not like the storyline to this movie at all, but I have just enough common sense to realise it is that: a movie.  But yes, I look forward to hearing who the remainder of the cast is to be.  Don't know that I'll bother seeing the movie.

Speaking of movies, a local club is having a promotion.  Tickets to see a male strip show, and then go to watch 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. I am sure I would feel less nauseous watching a dog eat vomit, than watching this movie.  The book made me feel combative enough.  The dialogue was the most woeful ever, and the characters more irritating than a, uh, Taylor Swift song.  Doubtless I will watch it on DVD, so I can regale cyberspace with my ranting.  As someone beyond giving a shit at times, I do not want to be seen going into the new cinema in town to watch it.  And I'm not paying full price to watch a movie version of the worst book I have ever read, either.  But yeah, I would be embarrassed to be seen watching it, and might have to don a wig and sunglasses at the local DVD store.  When I hand over my card, the clerk will probably blow my cover with a hearty, 'Hello, Simone!  How are you?'  Many years ago, when I was a sylph-like thing aged twenty, my cousin and I were going to a nightclub in North Sydney.  It had a reputation for being a pick-up joint.  I didn't care because as far as I was concerned, and still am, any place can be a pick-up joint.  We got off the bus, and found the street, but were unsure whether we should turn right or left.  Saw some people in the street, and I suggested I ask them.  'No!' cried my appalled cousin, 'I don't want people knowing we're going there!'  I looked at her, and asked did she honestly think those people gave a shit that we were going there.  But almost twenty-nine years on, I am finally beginning to understand what my cousin meant.  So I won't go to the cinema to see it, but a friend and I are going to hire it on DVD, and metaphorically tear it to confetti.  I will then inflict my thoughts on this turd upon all and sundry in cyberspace.  Well, it's bound to be a turd; look at the source material.

Gotta go because like the Stones sang, 'The storm is threatening...', and I have washing on the line.