Sighs

Every now and then, things make you sigh and despair. For a while, I was saving my cynical ennui for my youngest son, who has been eating all the Saos. This is annoying because I would like to have a slice of cheese and tomato on a Sao occasionally, and he has pigged into them. Then I had a read of my newsfeeds and realised there are worse things out there. Far, far worse. Take, for instance, the father of the (alleged) Colorado shooter. By way of explanation, I have put included 'alleged' because it might be prudent at this early stage when due judicial process has not been finalised.  Anyway, the dude's father - I think I will just call him FW (short for Fuckwit) - he stated in an interview that upon being told his son had been involved in a shooting at a gay bar, his first thoughts were along the lines of: Oh my God, he's gay? Eeeewwww, how could something that leapt from my ultra-macho he-man testicles be gay? Never mind most parents' first thoughts would be concern their child had been injured or worse, this guy's first concern was his son might be gay. Then when he was informed it was believed his son was the shooter, he breathed a humongous sigh of relief because, as he said in words to the following effect: 'We're Mormons and we don't do gay.' So, this guy's concern is -* checks notes* - that his son might be gay instead of a murderer of innocent people? FW, what in the blue blazes ails you? 

Guess what else? FW is a porn actor! In fairness, he might not be doing porn now, but I'm no theologian, so if someone can enlighten me about whether Mormons do porn, I'd appreciate it.  From what I understand of Mormon proclivities, porn is not really on. Every time I go on YouTube to look up film clips of The Osmonds (and hey, I like to do this, okay?), I see titles like Down by the Lazy River and Crazy Horses. I don't see links to stuff titled The Osmonds do Salt Lake City, and if there were such a video, I'm sure it would be a concert held there, not some orgy featuring guys with big teeth and Lego hair. This alleged shooter's FW is one of the worst kinds of shit stains going and would be catapulted out to the Milky Way. 

The Red Font Supersedes the Red Ink

 The good news is this anxiety is dissipating. It's not entirely gone, but my guts feel substantially less like a washing machine agitator than they did a month ago. I guess the stressors that triggered the anxiety are improving; this is a great help. I used a semicolon in place of a conjunction there for tone. Guess what? There is a chance I will be teaching this technique tomorrow. I'm on my second practicum placement and tomorrow I have two double periods, both of which I plan to use for writing techniques. For relaxed or conversational tone, or for strengthening the sentence when the comma is struggling, get out that semicolon; it's a regular cure-all (and hey look, there's another one!). 

Cliched, I know, but things have changed since I was a student. Today, I found myself assessing and reporting work I'd set via an online program, rather than the old hand-in-the-book method, during which a teacher would write in red ink (and if you were unlucky, you'd cop a batshit crazy nun who'd erroneously put a conjunction over your appropriately placed comma, and then scream like a startled banshee when challenged - but I'm not bitter about this). However, in keeping with tradition, I used a red font to make my comments on the work.

Also, I was required to attend bus duty this afternoon. This was quite an informal affair compared to what I remember. Students casually interacted whilst the teacher called out the route of whatever bus had pulled up. A far cry from my bus line, which entailed standing in line on a blistering hot day, waiting to be dismissed by this scruffy harridan whose countenance bore a photographic resemblance to that of a constipated gargoyle. We would stand soldier-like, bored and in increasing discomfort, which one day prompted the kid behind me to scowl sotto voce, 'Let us go, you ugly old shit!'. It was my great concern today that a kid would refer to me in this manner, disgruntled at having to wait for dismissal.