We've all have at least one: a song with an okay tune but lyrics that make you want to take the singer, subject, or narrator out the back and beat some sense into them. My regular readers know I can write a complex manifesto on how Centerfold by the J Geils Bands transforms me into a frenzied zealot hell-bent on taking the incel narrating that song by the throat and introducing him to a duly heated penis-flattener. But today, as I was driving around between clients, I heard a song that never ceases to rattle the fillings in my teeth: I Can't Standing Losing You by The Police.
As I alluded to in the above paragraph, I don't think this song has a bad tune. Au contraire, I enjoy the reggae influenced piece. However, I don't think I have ever listened to the lyrics without thinking, in hypothetical conversation with the narrator: Fuck, you're an idiot!
First of all, he whines that he's called the object of his obsession 'so many times today'. Dude, did it work? No? THEN TAKE THE BLOODY HINT!!!!! He observes her brother's going to 'kill (him) and he's six feet ten'. Mate, I'm ready to kill you and I'm only five feet seven.
By the third verse he's threatening to top himself, leaving a legacy of guilt for the woman who's been - sensibly - rejecting him. Mate, she's not going to feel guilty. She's going to feel relieved because you're no longer pestering her.
Guys, let this be a lesson. If she says no, she's not playing hard to get. Don't bombard her with telephone calls. This can bite you on the arse with the force of a closing rabbit trap. I still remember, in my former career as a paralegal, having to deal with a guy who didn't grasp constantly ringing a woman won't get her to change her mind, but it just might get you charged because harassing someone with a telecommunication device is Commonwealth offence. Please take this on board.
Guess what I did today? I rang my local telephone station for a competition to guess the 'voice'. I knew the guy torturing Jump in my Car was not Ted Mulry but The Hoff! Do I revel with pride in knowing this, or hide under the doona with embarrassment? I'm running with the latter.
Well, that's me for today. I had a full on day, but hope to have the books on the new platform very shortly. Cheers!
No comments:
Post a Comment