Before anyone says anything, I tested my equipment via the 'test' link I was sent. Everything went fine. I was able to speak to and look at the IT lady, and she was able to look at and see me. Everything was hunky dory. However, Wednesday morning, pretty much nothing worked. My new headset, blue-toothed to the computer, thought it would get boy germs from the Adobe classroom. I'm aware this isn't IT technical language, but in my Luddite mind, it is the best way I can explain things. Also, my webcam shit itself on the weekend, thus necessitating the purchase of another one. So, I could see the others; they could see me, but nobody could hear me speak. Five meltdowns later, I ended up setting up at my son's laptop, installing the classroom software there, and emailing my visual aides for the presentation from my PC so I could access them on son's laptop to upload to a special screen in the classroom. Sounds complicated? That's because it is. Then, as I was being put in the 'presenter' area of the screen, I went to upload my first picture/slide, and absolutely nothing happened. I couldn't find the damned things, even though I know I downloaded them. The trainer told me to email them to him, and the person slotted after me to present had to step up to the plate, and I'm sure the poor thing wasn't quite ready in her mind yet.
Finally - FINALLY! - it was my turn to present. The first words out of my mouth, before I told them the objective of my presentation, before I did 'housekeeping', before I did a 'Welcome to Country', were to the effect: 'Thank you for your patience with me, everybody. I apologise for all the interruptions. I have apparently angered the Gods of Technology, and when this presentation has ended, I will have to make a sacrifice to appease them. Unfortunately, I can't find a virgin because I live in Muswellbrook, but I will now show you how to use an apostrophe.' The presentation was very well received: everybody loves the one about the difference between the butler 'calling the guests' names' and 'calling the guests names'.
Like they say in showbiz: "It'll be all right on the night". And it was. Today was a far smoother day, insofar as technology is concerned. Today's topic was proper comma usage. I focused on the Oxford comma, and the vocative comma. Regarding the latter, "Let's eat, Grandma!" juxtaposed against "Let's eat Grandma!" proved, as always, a winner.
But don't think today started well. I was scrolling through Twitter, and read this most awful attempt at erotic fiction since Fifty Shades of Unreadable Crap. This guy was upset at his parents' reaction to his execrable crud. I've been trying to copy and paste the actual passage, but not having much luck. Anyway, I've got a copy here and I've added a blue circle to save you reading too much shit:
This is why feeble metaphors for sexual organs, or for any act involving sexual organs, are really not a good idea. Reading this made my eyeballs bleed, and it almost put me off my presentation today. I do note the author forgot the possessive apostrophe when referring to the head of the turtle, so maybe I could use this when next presenting on apostrophes?
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