The Space Race

Before I start my rant, just let me point out I KNOW it's bad form and tantamount to bullying to 'shame' someone on the Internet. I'm just really pissed off at something I saw on breakfast television this morning. I'm pissed off at the woman in the latest 'going viral' footage, and I'm pissed off at the attitudes of the talking heads blathering their bullshit, saying 'good on her for standing her ground.'

If you haven't yet seen it, the footage was filmed in a Westfield car park in Auckland, New Zealand. The driver of a vehicle wants to get into a car space, and it's being 'held' by a large (well, more like elephantine) woman in a blue skivvy top, with a young boy beside her. She would not move for the person in the car, because she was holding it for someone. They had a stand-off for ten minutes, and she got out her mobile phone, perhaps a pretend conversation. The driver honked the horn to disturb her conversation, assuming there was conversation. I would have done the same. I would also have phoned the management of the car park, and told them to have their security guards remove the behemoth from the parking space (and as a matter of courtesy advised a tow truck might be necessary).

Throughout the undignified interchange, the kid looks nervous.  I don't blame him. He was probably wondering would the driver of the vehicle lose it, and mow them down. Perhaps he was wondering was there even the smallest chance he might be adopted (assuming the cretinous woman was his biological mother).

Lady, people like you really get me grinding my molars. You are a mutton-headed, lame-brained lummox with a sense of entitlement that rivals your hip measurement in size. Just because you share the same dimensions as a Volkswagon Golf doesn't mean you can just stand in that vacant car space.  There is no dibs, no bags-ing, no holding when it comes to available car spaces.

She reminds me of the dried dingleberry tangled in Satan's butt hairs that my husband and I had the misfortune with which to deal on a day out at the seaside, with our kids and a friend in tow. We found the last car spot, only to find the said dried dingleberry standing in it. 

'Get out!' yelled my husband to the numpty.

With the hangdog expression of one who is totally pussy-whipped, the idiot said he was waiting for his girlfriend.

I lowered my window, stuck out my head and shouted, 'I don't care if you're waiting for the Queen! We've driven one and a half hours with kids in the back, now MOVE!'

A guy walking by stopped and joined the brewing fracas, telling the fool, 'Mate, you can't hold car spaces. You're not allowed. Now MOVE.' 

He skulked away, wondering was the haranguing he would get from his hellbeast of a girlfriend better than the haranguing he was getting from us.  Also, even if we DID decide to park blocks away, the next driver might not have been so understanding and flattened the squib. 

Yes, people like him, and that woman in the car park really, totally, unequivocably shit me to tears.  And you two idiots on Sunrise, what the fuck were you thinking supporting her? Just wait until YOU find a car space with a fuckhead like her standing in it.