Just lately I am under the impression the world is about to implode upon itself under the weight of the sheer stupidity in which it is currently mired. We appear to be teetering on the brink of a nuclear war following a stupid spat by two petulant childish idiots with absolutely no political nous whatsoever, and who appear to be metaphorically comparing penis size whilst having a pissing contest. America, why did you elect Trump? This is somebody who has all the diplomacy of an off-course wrecking ball, the manners of a pig at a trough, and the brain of a discarded hermit crab shell.
Anyway, I've been thinking a bit about music lately, which anybody who knows me well would be aware is a passion of mine, and on Sunday night I watched the 'Countdown' special that aired on ABC2. Growing up, it was a regular Sunday night occurrence in my household, sitting on the lounge room floor with the Sony tape recorder, fingers poised at the 'play' and 'record' buttons for that moment when a good song came on. Unfortunately and annoyingly, my mother would be clattering about with pots and pans in the background as she prepared dinner. Back to the point of this post: the episode I watched focused on 1976, and what an array of clips! I have categorised the clips I viewed into three sets: Good, Bad, and Unsure. Let's start with the good:
1. 'I Only Want To Be With You' by the Bay City Rollers. Yes, some of you would be questioning this choice and saying they're naff, and they're cheesy, and they're daggy. Yeah, maybe they are. But they were fun, and I am of the age and gender to have actually been a bit of a fan. So I enjoyed the clip, and busted a few mum-moves where I was sitting on the sofa.
2. 'That's Rock and Roll' by Shaun Cassidy. I understand this number to have been written by the talented Eric Carmen. I wonder would I enjoy Eric's interpretation of his song as much as I do Shaun's. It is likely the main reason for enjoying Shaun's version is that it's Shaun, and I did have quite the crush on him when I was younger. He was a total babe, and a talented performer. Of course when he wriggles his hips as performing - phwooooooar! From the lounge room sofa I squealed something along the lines of 'Ermagerd, it's Shaun Cassidy!' My husband rolled his eyes and left the room.
3. 'Jump In My Car' by Ted Mulry Gang. Look, this might qualify for the 'Unsure' list, but it's kind of a guilty pleasure. It's a lot of fun, anyway. Although these days I have no doubt the song would be torn to shreds by SJWs screaming there is an evil undercurrent of misogyny in it, because the protagonist changes his mind about giving a girl a lift after he discovers she lives a long way away and in the ensuing dialogue between he and the 'girl' proves himself to be something of a tool. But any suggestion of unpleasantness in this number pales into insignificance when one looks at the diabolical remake by David Hasselhoff. The Hoff should be subject to a court order barring him from ever covering a song again. He took this fun albeit naff little number an totally annihilated it via torture and murder most foul, after which he spiked its poor defiled corpse on an arrow-headed pole for all to see. Then he set fire to it and pissed on the ashes.
4. 'Hollywood 7' by Jon English. Dressed in a bright yellow jumper and matching skin tight pants. I believe Jon's delivery of this song is spine-tingling. The song is a story of unrealised and thwarted dreams with a tragic ending, and Jon, who surely had one of the best rock voices in Australian music, gives it a rawness and poignancy that leaves a lump in the throat. He does this whilst dressed in a bright canary coloured outfit. Jon's eyes, set against those dark hollows, hold all the eeriness with a hint of possible malevolence of an unknown creature eyeing you from the depths of a cave or below a rock. He cuts a saturnine figure as he performs this song with a gravitas and despair that belies his real-life persona of a really nice bloke. And he manages to do this in a shade of yellow that screams for sunglasses. This is testimony to the man's character and talent. It is also an indication that whoever chose this outfit should reconsider whether wardrobe design was really the right choice for him or her.
Okay, now let's move on, shall we? The next list is Unsure, and there is only one entry:
'I Wanna Make You My Lady' by Mark Holden. I'm kind of unsure because whilst Mark is a genuinely talented man with a prolific song writing catalogue, an acting career, and a nice singing voice of his own; let's not forget he did have a shocking tendency to yell 'TOUCHDOWN during his tenure as a judge on 'Australian Idol'!' Now that he has finalised his law degree and is practising as a barrister, I wonder does he give out carnations to members of the jury during his summing up.
Okay, now we reach the unpleasant part of the post wherein I address the bad songs played. I would suggest you sit down and take a deep breath for what is about to follow.
1. 'Ooh Ja Ja' by Pussyfoot. This was a follow up to her chart topping single 'The Way That You Do It'. 'The Way etc' had the less than profound lyrics 'ooh na na hya hya hy-YAAAAAA'. Like its predecessor, ' Ooh Ja Ja' has all the lyrical depth of a teaspoon. I daresay the songwriter was going for onomatopoeic and catchy, but missed and achieved the lowest point on the scale of banality. Still, Pussyfoot herself no doubt launched a thousand erections amongst the burgeoning adolescent male audience, sitting glued to the television screen at 6.00pm on a Sunday evening.
2. 'Love And Other Bruises' by Air Supply. Yeah, I know. Talented guys, some of whom were alumni of the original Australian production of 'Godspell'. But their songs are as dreary as the dried bat guano on the floor of a cave. This one in particular is an emetic set to music.
But that being said, I can hardly wait for next 6.00pm next Sunday to arrive!
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