If I ever decide to run for politics, which is unlikely as I have a past as loud and colourful as Al Grassby's jacket, I know exactly how I'm going to get all the plebs out there to vote for me. Instead of presenting a well formulated speech or video on some sensible platforms and policies, I'm going to ask some attention-seeking old hag to get her fun-bags out in my name! Is this a good idea, or what? If Madonna's people can just email me her deets to the address included in my blog bio, I promise to be in touch as soon as I throw my hat into the political ring. I'm sure a picture of Madge with her norcs dangling and swinging like windsocks in a mild breeze is bound to get me some votes.
Seriously, what are people like Katy Perry and Madonna thinking? I know what Madonna's thinking: 'Golly willickers! Another excuse to get my tits out as I try to stay relevant, because fuck knows my singing voice is awful!' But back to my question: does someone getting nude really encourage people to vote for a particular party? And if people are only going to vote on the basis of some chanteuses stripping down, then these people really should not be partaking in a process that decides the civic and political direction in which their nation will be travelling. Hell, they should probably be forcibly sterilised.
But on the bright side, yesterday I emailed to my editor a list of errata in the manuscript of my upcoming novel. The list is very short. This will hopefully mean when I go through it AGAIN, when the amended manuscript is emailed back to me, I will find ZILCH errors/typos. Nada, none, nil, and then just maybe I can sign off and the book can go to print. There are still some things to which I must attend. Mr Bingells has taken my author photograph for the book jacket. I am wearing a pretty lilac top and a scarf (leopard print, naturally). Seeing today's news about the songstresses and their, er, unique style of campaigning makes me wonder should we do our photo sesh again, only instead of that pretty top that flatters my Celtic type complexion, I will stand there with my boozies on display to all and sundry. Now THAT might see some books sold! Might also see some therapy bills for my kids. I might update my author bio, although it's still pretty relevant to the one from my last book. Must do the list of dedications and acknowledgements, too. This time the book will be dedicated to my dear old dad, whom some of you will be aware passed away late last year. I miss him so.
Well, today will bring something wonderful: the return of my family as they have been out west for a few days. In Australia, 'out west' can mean anywhere beyond Newtown if you're living in Sydney, or anywhere from fifty kilometres to seven hundred kilometres away, if you're living anywhere else. But yes, this afternoon will mean hello to my husband and children, and goodbye to the tidy house I have managed to maintain these past few days!
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