I don't know; I miss the point. Or I appear to be missing the point. I saw the meme Ellen de Generes tweeted of herself being piggy-backed by Usain Bolt, with a caption about how this is the method she would be employing to run errands in the future. I don't know about you lot, but I just saw a mildly amusing-yet-silly gag based on Bolt's almost preternatural running speed. But everywhere, the usual nay-sayers and cry-babies started up with how racist de Generes was in her motivation for the meme. Because it reeks of superiority and elitism for a white woman to be riding the back of a black man, doncha know? Like I said, I've missed the point here. I cannot for the life of me see how Ellen has denigrated an entire race and culture in this meme. I am wondering if those grots from Young Turks who lost their shit over the KFC ad shown during the Australia vs West Indies cricket test a few years ago have said anything about this meme. Remember that stink? Someone decided the Aussies were being racist because of the ad with a single Aussie guy sitting uncomfortably with a group of Windies fans, and then they all bond over some KFC. White guy uncomfortable around blacks, you see (and not a guy who's uncomfortable because he's sitting with a group of people who support the other team at all - oh no!). Persons of colour being portrayed as stereotypically enjoying Southern fried chicken, which is apparently a stereotype attributed to African-Americans (and correct me if I'm wrong because my geography can be a little sketchy, but I'm pretty sure the West Indies are not part of the USA). I haven't bothered to check whether the Young Turks commented on Ellen's meme. I might do so later. Back when this KFC ad was aired I thought the Young Turks acted like a pack of completely misinformed prats who couldn't see past their own noses, and my opinion still stands. It kind of reminds me of that comic book convention scene near the beginning of the film 'Chasing Amy', when someone's complaining about the deep-rooted racism in 'Star Wars' because of a white cracker boy (Luke Skywalker) battling with a black guy (Darth Vader). Anyway, back to this outcry over Ellen's meme: if you have a tendency to seriously and chronically over-think things, and desperately need a tampon change, then stay off the Internet. You, and the rest of the world, will be a lot happier for it.
I have to source a costume for my 12yo in the school play, which is a musical version of 'Alice in Wonderland'. He is playing the Knave of Hearts. He recited his lines on the way home from rehearsal yesterday with the earnestness and passion of someone playing King Lear. Today the teacher told me how impressed they'd been when he stepped up to the plate and did the role at rehearsal (he wasn't the original choice, apparently). And of course I'm mentally preening and buffing my nails; he's an actor - he takes after his old mum. I've known for many years his stage presence and scene-stealing and scenery-chewing ability. I first noticed it when he was playing the donkey in his pre-school's Nativity play. The kid that was originally cast got stage fright, and my son stepped up to the plate. He donned the big brown floppy ears, and took his place by the manger wherein lay the Little Prince of Peace (played by a dark-skinned doll, which is probably more accurate than most Western portrayals of Little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay). Then, as each visitor came to the stable, be it the Announcing Angel, the shepherds, or the Magi, he made grand sweeping 'ta-da!' gestures at the manger. He stole the show. I was glad. I know what it's like to be swept aside and have to play second fiddle to someone inferior in the school Nativity play. I remember being cast as one of the seraphim or whatever, wearing a white dress with a tinsel halo, whilst the kid who was cast as the Announcing Angel said to the shepherds (who managed to look reasonably stunned at the celestial being, if not entirely convinced), 'Fear not, for I bring glad tidings....'. She was monotone, soulless and robotic. Years later I heard a recording of Professor Hawking, and this was the first thing I thought of. At the time I remember thinking I would have done a far more convincing job. Maybe the nun knew deep down I was no angel.
What I've put on my iPod over the past few days:
1. 'Guitar Band' by Stevie Wright. Look, I love 'Evie I, 2 & 3', but it does get done to death, doesn't it? 'Guitar Band' was what Stevie opened with when I saw him in 1986. I didn't recognise him when he took to the stage because I was expecting a long haired guy in a flowing shirt, and the little fella who came on was dressed like Don Johnson in 'Miami Vice' (like I said, it was 1986). It was only when he opened his mouth and started to sing, I knew straight away.
2. 'I Fought The Law' by The Clash. Every now and then a remake just does it for me. This one always has.
3. 'Rock And Roll, Hoochy Koo' by Rick Derringer. Love the riffs, love the song. I first became aware of it when I saw the Richard Linklater film 'Dazed and Confused' in 1994. Perhaps I'd heard the song before, but I can't really recall having done so. Anyway, it is a good 'un, and now graces my iPod.
What I have to do: get Mr Bingells to take a photograph for the back cover of the jacket of my upcoming novel, 'Howling On A Concrete Moon'. It's been through a first edit, it might be available for sale near Christmas (hint, hint).
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