Crushed To Re-Think A Crush

This is not a thrown gauntlet by any means.  I am aware that when I write what I am about to write I am probably going to come under scrutiny, and be subject to accusations that I am not supporting the sisterhood.  I will probably be hit with the allegation that I am merely jealous.  It is apparently not cool to express an opinion on the outfit a female celebrity wore to a gala event, unless the opinion is one of gushiness and ebullience of praise.  I will no doubt have my detractors pointing out that I am a woman of fifty sitting behind a computer, and because my detractors are unaware, I will put it on the table: I am currently wearing a pair of jeans I purchased from an op shop, and they are hemmed up and the zipper is broken.  My top is second hand, and it has small sequins and animal print.  I like to think I am rocking the Old Slapper Meets Cougar Look.  Mayhap I am; mayhap I am not.  In the grand scheme of the universe, it matters Fuck All.  BUT, here we go.  Here is my opinion.  I am going to join in all those other commentators who made a comment on the horror show, uh, I mean ensemble sported by Jesinta Campbell at the 2016 Logie Awards.  In a nutshell, I thought it was fucken terrible.  As you can glean from my afore comments, I am really no fashionista but I do have the nous to know the outfit was not appropriate for a gala event.  I don't care how great a figure one has, that revealing get-up was completely off the wall.  There's this restaurant I once visited in Brighton-le-Sands that had a nautical motif in the décor, complete with lifesavers and anchors on the wall.  It looked like Jesinta had wandered in wearing only a one-piece strapless swimsuit (hey, it can happen), and the fishing net had fallen from the ceiling, entangling the poor girl. 

Sometimes we have to rethink things.  I am currently rethinking my crush on Johnny Depp.  I was ALMOST willing to overlook the missus smuggling in dogs, but decided not to because when one flies into our country, one is given a form to complete in which one declares any live animals etc.  Yes, I know it was a private plane, but wouldn't the pilot be au fait with procedure?  Neither the Depp-ster nor his missus had any sympathy from me.  Yes, I know the 'Minister of the Crown' Barnaby Joyce can come across as an over-eager bombastic buffoon, but he had a point.  Johnny's insincere videos of apology, and continual labouring of the issue just make him and his spouse sound like petulant brats who have a bit of trouble comprehending that playing an adult version of the kids' game 'Let's Pretend' actually does not afford them diplomatic immunity, and they are therefore NOT exempt from the laws of another country.  They don't sound remorseful at all; they sound like sulky entitled brats whose only regret is they were caught.  We take biosecurity seriously here.  Why should the agricultural industry be compromised because they couldn't be arsed boarding their seriously ugly mutts somewhere?  And this is from a dog-lover.

Now, I have to write something for my writers' group this Thursday.  Our theme is mystery.  These things are a mystery to me:

1. The popularity of the Kardashians.  Seriously, what is the point to these people?
2. Even all these years later, how the fuck did 'Forrest Gump' win best Oscar over 'Pulp Fiction'?
3. My son's insatiable and voracious appetite that never sees him gain weight.  Surely this is a contravention of the laws of physics.