I'm not rostered to start work for a few hours, so I sank back into the lounge and had a look at some breakfast television as my kids got ready for school. Truly, the things that make 'news' these days have me looking for a big red button marked 'Stop', which I can press in order to signal my disembarkation from the world, like I used to do when I rode the State Transit buses in Sydney. A couple of years ago, we were visiting my sister and her family (they were then living in Coogee). My oldest, then aged 12, and I were riding on a bus from Bondi Junction to her house, and he was agog at the public bus. 'What does this button do?' he asked, before pressing the 'stop', and received a scolding from me. But back to my point. There is outrage over a pub in Paddington (which coincidentally is where my sister and her family now live) that bans patrons wearing hi-viz work gear, and muddy boots. ('Oh, it's an affront to the good working class of Australia, this banning of tradies!' 'It's discrimination!' 'It's this!' and 'It's that!' and the good old chestnut that never ceases to peel the top of my skull back: 'It's un-Australian!').
Listen folks: it's not. Nobody is banning tradies. It is a licensed business enforcing a dress code. Lots of venues have dress codes. I had to remove a denim jacket before entering the Sebel many, many years ago. If you really want to drink there, remove the hi-viz and get changed, and go on in. It is not a particularly complex conundrum, is it? I live in a mining community and am often hit with the glare of hi-viz work gear when I'm out, usually at my weekly club trivia game. The sea of florescence makes me feel I have fallen into a time warp and landed in a Wham film clip, which would be akin to my idea of Hell (the real horror would be a Haysee Fantaysee clip, or a Rick Astley one).
Sometimes places seems silly, I know. Back in 1988 my cousins and I attended a Hoodoo Gurus concert. My cousin's then-boyfriend (now husband) was turned away because he was wearing a tank style top. Okay, this was annoying. We went to the nearby flat of one of our group, and he borrowed a t-shirt. My cousin-in-law stands about 6'3 and is built like a Westinghouse refrigerator. The woman whose t-shirt he borrowed is about 5'4 and medium build. I'm certain he found the garment restrictive and ridiculous. At least it was a plain white shirt without a feminine motif on it. But no matter, we were admitted entry and once inside we discovered about fifty per cent of the guys had TAKEN OFF THEIR SHIRTS AND WERE STANDING THERE SHIRTLESS!!!
But yes, a venue does hold the right to promote a dress code, and if you don't want to comply, drink elsewhere. To borrow a hackneyed phrase from my childhood: there is no need to make a Federal case of it. All you people who have lost your shit, get a small backhoe and shovel it up. Then take a high-pressure hose and spray the place down, and apply a sanitising agent. Seriously. What was the point to this asinine story? Probably to stir up outrage among the tax-paying little Aussie battler. But yeah, I will reiterate my original point, which is to just fucken drink elsewhere if you have a problem.
Now I think I have a problem with something else I saw on brekkie telly today. And I shouldn't because it's not my business, but I am annoyed. It's Miranda Kerr's Instagram picture in which she is advertising Reebok shoes. The pic is taken at an angle where all you see is her - um, I'm not sure how to describe this. She's apparently lying back in the nude (save for her sneaker) with her legs bent, and the foot just at the entrance of her vagina. The viewer would be standing front on, and all you can't see her face - it's from the bent knees onwards. She has a right to pose how she wants, and I support that right. So why is this picture really annoying me? I. Don't. Know. I guess it just screams 'Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!' like a Kardashian family shot, and don't get me started on that gene pool, FFS. It just looked really tacky, I guess. It's reminiscent of those photos one sees in magazines that advertise 'lotsa flange' on their covers.
Maybe I'm just getting old and cranky.
Maybe I should seize that idea and pose thus, holding my novels just there. God knows I need more sales. Hey listen, if you're concerned I just might decide to pose that way, there is a way you can stop me. Click on the links and buy my books. Please.
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