Just got a notification that the change to Blogger's adult content policy is not being implemented, and to 'click here' for further information. I didn't bother. I'm thinking it might be a hoax, or spam, or a link to malware, or something I just don't want. I usually get notification in my gmail box relating to my social media sites, and have received none of this nature in those inboxes. I reckon if I do click on it, my screen will freeze and there will be a picture of a State police officer with the caption the AFP is monitoring my computer and it's been locked because I've looked at inappropriate content. Of course having the Feds being represented by a State cop is a dead giveaway that this is a hoax, but it's still a frigging nuisance having your computer cleaned and the clerks sniggering at the likelihood you've been checking out porn. Everyone sniggers at other people checking out porn. But the annoying thing about this is: most people do look at it. Tonight I am not checking out porn. It is a Saturday night, and my kids are therefore up a little later than usual, and furthermore, the 10yo is having a friend over for a sleepover. But as far as Blogger's adult content policy goes, I'll just keeping typing my merry way through my meandering thoughts. I tend not to write much sex on my blog. I do have some sex in my novels. I couldn't say if it's particularly raunchy sex, because that's subjective. If you're interested in checking out what I think it is a somewhat pedestrian (although mildly amusing) sex scene, then you might want to buy my latest book, 'Silver Studs and Sabre Teeth'. The link to the first chapter (which has nudity, but it is not the scene to which I allude in this paragraph) is http://www.zeus-publications.com/silver_studs_and_sabre_teeth.htm
Of all things to be thinking about tonight, I'm thinking about the physics of elasticity. I am aware that elastic comprises chain molecules that are tangled when it is relaxed, but smooth out as the elastic stretches (and in stretching, heats). Well, today I saw a little something that made me fear for those dear little chain molecules. They were stretched to the point of cruel and inhumane torture. And the 'elastic', if stretching causes heat, was on the verge of spontaneous combustion. I saw this apparent defiance of the laws of physics in front of me at the ATM today. A young woman was wearing a pair of denim hipsters, or bumsters, or just pants that were too frigging small, and they came halfway up her hips, hips that were gelatinous in property. The rolls jiggled and rippled, and it reminded me of footage of that old movie 'The Blob', where people are running and screaming, as what appears to be a pissed-off scoop of jelly comes after them. The flesh spilled over the top of her waist, thus making her shadow resemble a nuclear mushroom cloud. And with these overheating chain molecules, there was a danger this could occur. Seriously, girl, couldn't you buy pants the right size? Squeezing your bulk into those pants wasn't going to make you look thinner, because (and this is another lesson for another time) of the laws of mass displacement (if that's what the theory is called). Those laws just mean the mass won't vanish, it will simply be moved somewhere else, in your case spilling and cascading over your waistband. And my giddy aunt, didn't it look awful?
Speaking of rolls of fat etc, I've been trying to tone up at the gym. I had a moment yesterday that got me wondering. A young man came up to me and offered to show me how to use the equipment. I assured him I was au fait with the equipment. He suggested altering my routine to get the maximum impact, and said, 'I note you're doing three sets of reps....'. I wondered how conscientiously he had been studying me, and was he actually stalking me. Trust me, I don't look like the gym bunny I used to be at 26, and was wearing a somewhat frumpy outfit - baggy shorts and loose t-shirt. But anyway, I thanked him for his suggestions, and promised to try them. I did today, and I do think they were valid. But back to yesterday, I mentioned to Mr Bingells about the unsolicited advice, and how I felt like pointing out I have been attending that gym for almost 9 years, blah-blah-blahdy-blah. Mr Bingells' explanation was this: 'Darling, you're a MILF. That's why the guy was watching you. That's why the guy went up to you.' I must say, that's very nice to hear. And I couldn't resist sharing.
Before I go, did anyone else wonder how many parsecs Harrison Ford was trying to get up in his plane the other day? Shame Chewbacca wasn't co-pilot.
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