Lord Gawd, strike me bloody pink; has anyone heard about singer Kelly Clarkson's disgruntlement over her experience in what appears to be some kind of artware/curio shop, when she was unable to purchase an item? From my synthesising of the information that has been appearing in my newsfeed, there appears to have been a misunderstanding about whether an automaton bird was available for purchase. It seems the individual item was not, however a similar item could have been procured, or the artist commissioned to create something similar.
This should not be an issue. I can't see why it should be an issue. However, it has become one and is escalating to the point where Tom Wolfe could not have dreamed up such a Byzantine clusterfuck, and this is the man who penned the brilliant social satire The Bonfire of the Vanities. Alarmingly, the world appears to be going all Bonfire of the Vanities over what is probably miscommunication in a place of commerce. Or maybe a celebrity whose grasp on reality has dissipated, leaving her labouring under the misapprehension that she is, like, really super important.
What ensued is that she posted on X, naming the business and likening her experience to that of the Julia Roberts character in Pretty Woman. Kelly, I don't know if you're reading this, but there are more appropriate, mature, and effective ways of handling what you perceive to be bad customer service, and absolutely NONE of then involve maligning a business on social media, which is a seriously shitty thing to do, especially when you're someone with a large fanbase and social media following. Just privately contact the manager and tell your side of the story. No need to use swears or anything. Just explain. Here's the thing: business owners like to know if there is an area of customer service that needs strengthening. Also, it could give them the chance to set the record straight and clear up any grey areas and misunderstandings because, although there is that old adage that the customer is always right, sometimes you can't always have things, and maybe there was a genuine miscommunication.
When my son was almost three, he wanted a muesli bar. There were none in the pantry. We had a conversation that ran to the following effect:
Son: "I have muesli bar?"
Me: "We don't have any, darling"
Son (two minutes later): "I have muesli bar?"
Me: "We don't have any. Remember I already told you?"
Son (eyes squeezed shut and screaming on the verge of hysteria): "BUT I WANT MUESLI BAR!"
Me (hissing through clenched teeth): "Well, Mummy wants Hugh Jackman, but that's not happening, and you don't see Mummy screaming and carrying on!"
My son is now a well-adjusted, social adept, kind-hearted man of twenty-five, a far cry from the tantrum-throwing toddler of yesteryear. You, Ms Clarkson, appear to have channeled that sense of entitlement and ignorance that children leave behind and let it manifest in a social media post that will likely affect the livelihood of people. Here's the thing; you're rich and these people likely are not. What you've done is what we Aussies call a dog act. This behaviour is on par with the whiny prats who go on my local community Facebook page and complain that the kids in Maccas served them a tepid burger or that an item purchased in a local shop broke when they got it in their car. My response to you, Ms Clarkson, is the same was the one I give to the people on Facebook: "Speak to the manager before maligning a small business on social media."
So - *checks notes* - someone wins a singing contest, is fortunate enough to make a career from her music, can't buy a handcrafted mechanical bird and refuses offers of similar or referral for a commissioned similar piece of art, bitches on social media, fandom loses its collective shit, the shop wherein the piece was displayed receives a deluge of abuse. Yep, the world is seriously going Bonfire of the Vanities, and given Wolfe is now dead, I might have to write this one!
