Pillocks, Penuriousness, and Heads Shaped like Amphoras

 From the Dumb Shit I've Read Today files: a petition to the Australian Senate seeking, inter alia, that the military service of Ben Roberts-Smith be recognised and he be given due process.

Um, I had better type this slowly and loudly: HE IS BEING GIVEN DUE PROCESS! And I will continue to type slowly, whilst wondering can AI help me put in a bouncing ball graphic to help people at home reading along: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THE AUSTRALIAN SENATE CAN DO?

My tetchiness arises from the emotive posts appearing in my news feed. He is a war hero, they cry. This is costing millions in legal costs and associated costs and coffee runs and those pre-packaged sandwiches in the vending machines, they moan. Oh, and 'they' includes clowns like Pauline Hanson, Malcolm Roberts, and Gina Rinehart. 

I am not going to speculate or comment on the possible outcome of a matter that is sub judice. What I will say is:

1. Due process is being followed insofar at court procedure is concerned. He's been charged with offences under the criminal code that are to be dealt with in the civilian criminal court.

2. His military service is being recognised everywhere you freaking well look! You can't turn around without bumping into or barking your shin on a post about "our heroes." However, his service does not preclude him from being subject to the rule of law. The law applies to everybody or nobody. BRS is not above the law. That also means he is entitled to the protections of the law, which means he is at this stage presumed innocent until proven otherwise.

3. The Senate can do fuck-all about the court process. Our parliamentary and judicial powers are kept separate for very good reason.

4. Yeah, it's probably a bummer for him that he was arrested in front of his children. However, he's not the first person to have been arrested in front of his kids. 

5. What does it matter if there is cost involved in pursuing justice? We are talking JUSTICE. There is a saying: Not only must justice be done; it must be SEEN to be done. If that means some dosh gets expended in its pursuit, then so be it. And why are you bleating about the apparent 300 million dollars this has cost, Gina Rinehart? You've probably got 300 million dollars in spare change squashed down the back of your couch. Rancorous old bag of penuriousness. Haven't you got a function at Mar-a-Lago to attend?

6. Malcolm Roberts and Pauline Hanson: you're both a pair of pillocks. Support and believe in whomever you want, but at least familiarise yourself on the principle and reason for rule of law.

I found something else in the Dumb Shit I've Read Today files - although technically I first read it the other day; however, it's popped up and bobbing around like a turd that won't flush. Ironic, given it's subject matter is former PM Tony Abbott. He's saying that we should support the US in its conflict with Iran. Why does this amphora-headed ninny think his view holds weight? We are talking about a person who wanted to bestow a knighthood upon Prince Phillip! 

Hopefully, the world will calm down soon. I doubt it. 

Mephistopheles and Mirrors

 I've spent a few hours today watching some episodes of Dynasty: The Murdochs on Netflix and wondering when is that scabrous old fuck Rupert going to cark it. He's probably entered some Faustian bargain, which seems difficult since he's also the embodiment of Mephistopheles. It's kind of like the miller's daughter and Rumpelstiltskin turning out to be one and the same, only with a biased media corporation whose minions think it's okay to hack the voicemail of murdered kids, rather than some old turd of a king who expects straw to be spun into gold. I'm no alchemist, but I'm pretty sure you can't turn straw into gold. 

I've also been wondering whether there are any mirrors in the White House. What's aroused my curiosity is the mind-bogglingly ludicrous rant posted by Trump on his favourite social media platform wherein he described Bruce Springsteen as resembling "a dried up prune." No, I'm not making that up. Nobody who resembles a desiccated cumquat topped by a thatch of dried corn silk would have the temerity to compare another human being to a piece of dried fruit if said cumquat had access to a working mirror. From this, I can only assume there are no clean or functional mirrors in the White House. 

I am also wondering if there should be some kind of training course for incumbent presidents of the US, one that features a unit on how to cope if an artist expresses disapproval of you. I can suggest this rudimentary lesson:

1. Remember you are supposed to be a world leader and have more pressing issues about which to be concerned.

2. If you're going to sook about it in an unprofessional and hypocritical manner, resign your position because you are clearly unsuited if you cannot handle another person's opinion of you. 

3. Change your tampon. 

4. Avoid posting petty whines on social media. This does not matter if you are sitting up in a four-poster bed, sitting behind your desk, or sitting on a gold-plated toilet: just do not do this. *

5. Resign anyway. You are a bloated moribund sunfish, with the IQ and emotional intelligence of said creature. 

* Gold for a toilet? Maybe that imp from the Brothers Grimm could come in handy after all; just bring along a bale of hay.

Anyway, I might crank up some Springsteen now.