Monday 1 October 2018

Show Tunes in a Snarky Setting

Some words are unpleasant to the ear, and equally unpleasant for the speaker to enunciate. Some of the words have the 'oa' diphthong, like 'gloat', which rhymes with 'bloat'. Both have negative connotations.  Spoken aloud, the word 'gloat' sounds like the heraldic note of an imminent chunder.  Think about it, Reader - it really does. However, 'gloat' and 'bloat' are wonderfully onomatopoeic words.  'Onomatopoeic' is an awesome word. It's musical to the ear, and doesn't evoke memories of having a chuck over toilet (aka driving the porcelain bus).

When a person gloats, they are revelling in malicious glee at another's perceived misfortune. They are dripping in Schadenfreude (another awesome word). They are being unpleasant.  They are being smug. They are being obnoxious.

They are also being me, at the moment.

Yes, I have been gloating today. In my own logic, I have good reason to be gloating because the Karma Bus appears to have come screaming around the corner and splattered this odious pile of pox-ridden cunt snot who has really been putting the pennies on its Opal card for the fare Karma demands. Note: driving the Karma Bus is not the same as driving the porcelain bus.

I know I'm not being nice, but if you knew the stress this person has caused me, you'd understand WHY I've been singing showtunes from Oklahoma ('...I've got a bee-yooo-tiful feeeeeelinnnggg/everything's going my way!) and Gypsy ('Everything's coming up roses....').  You'd totally empathise with me cranking up Instant Karma as I tidied the kitchen.  Whilst the karma wasn't actually instantaneous (indeed, it took a good year or so), it felt mighty fine. And like the song says, I will 'shine on'.

Okay, enough with the snarking, and being snide. I will now continue enjoying the sunshine as I go to the supermarket, and thenceforth the gym.

And we all shine on.

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