Monday 3 September 2018

Singing Sandie Shaw

Believe it or not, I might be starting to get my mojo back. It's been a difficult and stressful time for me, but I'm working on it, and some of the odious issues in my life appear to be reaching resolution. This is a good thing because for a while one of the tracks I was going to add to the CD soundtrack of my life was Sandie Shaw's Puppet on a String. There is no joy in having your life controlled by what appears to be some external marionette master with a mile-wide streak of sadism and an even wider streak of stupidity, who has pulled a bucket bong and had a mean little chuckle as he wonders: How can I make Simone's life even more difficult than it is at the moment, and set her and her family one step forward and two steps backwards on the path to resolution? The crap, to which I also alluded in my previous post, is actually getting closer to being resolved. I regret I cannot really discuss in detail the crap, owing to its sensitive nature. But when it's resolved, and depending upon how everyone else involved is feeling, I will write one mofo of a post that will leave the heads of those who caused the trouble spinning, as though atop the shoulders of demonically possessed teenagers. Actually, the words 'demonically possessed' and 'teenagers' might be tautological; I have two teenagers in this house and their behaviour is at times positively devilish.

But I feel like writing another book, and this is a good thing. Mojo, how I have missed thee.

Weird quotes from Peter Dutton: #1 'I am a man of integrity'. ('Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!' - draws breath - 'Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!' - rushes to the toilet, unzipping trousers on the way because she's on verge of peeing herself from laughing so hard, thinking, 'Integrity? An ex-Queensland copper who waves through au pairs with dodgy visas and leaves critically ill children to rot on Nauru has integrity?'). #2 'My wife works but she is a great mother...' Seriously Duds, WFT? Your choice of conjunction rips through the fabric of time and space with its sheer bloody badness.  Let's replace it with 'and' instead.  How does this sound: 'My wife works and she is a great mother..'.  There, fixed it for you. Now doesn't that sound better? Wouldn't you prefer to not sound like some antiquated old dinosaur from the 1950s? Mate, at times I cannot believe you're actually younger than me.

What I'm wondering about today: the furore over the Bulldogs Mad Monday shenanigans. They got pissed, got naked, acted like infantile jackasses. And this is news why? Look, I'm not particularly amused by this, but I'm not offended, either. And you can bet your lungs I'm not surprised.  Give testosterone-packed boofheads enough alcohol, and this is what is likely to happen. Why does the MSM have to report on it? Why are they surprised? As I mentioned, this is a bunch of footballers on the piss, not an audience with Stephen Fry and Gore Vidal.  Also, some of the criticism I've read is from people stating the footballers are role models for children. I will type this slowly: they're not. They are not your child's role model, nor do they have any obligation to be. They owe your kids nothing. They owe their employers contractual fulfilment, but your kids are owed nothing. How about you people be the role models to your children, instead of expecting some complete stranger in the public eye to carry out that role?

Oh well, I'm off to sweep my front porch, and have a shower.  Exciting times ahead.

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